each day is a new beginning of truth

2007-07-30T01:45:00.000+08:00

seems like what i was saying seem to be making things worse. I dun mean it that way. I just agreeing that there is a weakness in me and my languages.

i guessed i should not have said so much
I am sorry. I have created alot of anger i guessed when i was just meaning to say that i agreed that i was in a wrong and my weakness.

I am terribly sorry.

2007-07-28T11:11:00.001+08:00

I am sorry being such a failure in my projects. I was never cut out to be a leader right from the start. Never did even think that i was suited to be a leader. I am just a follower. I was never ready to carry out a role as a leader. I would never deny that my language is no good and half of wat i say would not make any sense or it was not any help for the project. okie to put it simple. i am useless and was never cut out for any of this work. I guessed everything round up to be my fault. The blame is all thrown on me. i dun understand for someone to bare the anger and not tell me how was i to know that everything was not fine. I mean there was always a chance that you could just come up and tell me and not wait till u are super displeased that you shoot everything at me one straight. I mean u just throwing everything at me all at one moment. couldnt u just tell me earlier and maybe i can realise what i have done wrong and try to make it better. I mean i would not deny that i am rather caught up with my bf and that my limits have gone passed the it. I mean did u noe i tried to do as much as i could but it seems like i was wrong in doin them. I mean i guessed that for most of my projs i did not helped much and i am a failure in that for having my limits right. I mean if u are so not happy from the start i dun understand why didnt u just try and talk to me of it and not keep making me feel that things were fine.

i guessed i done too many things wrong to deserve anything good. i mean receiving something good would always mean u would lose something else. I guessed that happened and i guessed it happen forever.

The only sentence i left to say is I AM SORRY. but it is too late and thats alright. it all my fault for not doing anything and for being such a big failure.

2007-07-21T00:48:00.001+08:00

HAHA.. looks like my blog might just very well only be updated every 2nd week of the month. ooops i wonder wat might just happen next. HAHA. maybe i just might not even blog already and let the blog die out?? hmmm...

School this few days been flooded with projects and more projects. Rushing out work is such a tiring thing to do. I guessed the next whole week all i will be doing would just be rushing out work and thats all. I guess i wont even have the time to slack and play. I really dunno what more to say of projects. Other then that i guess school been fine but here and there it is kind of expected to have troubles. Nothing should be said to go your way. We will just have to accept the fact and just continue with life.

I have also recently thought about something. I realised that i have many friends who i have known for a very very long time. It is close to or even reaching 10 yrs. I feel so happy just having them around. The understand and know how i feel of stuff and i really thank them for always being there for me. Thank you my friends. =) It is never easy to have friends for so long as many of your friends would usually lose contact and stuff. I happy to have friends like them.

HAPPY 1st MONTH MY LOVE =D
I must say that you have never failed to make my day. my smile is always there with you around. Thank you. ((: I would not deny that we have our disagreements and sometimes it doesnt go the way we want it to. We would get frustrated and stuff but i believe that we can be able to solve it in one way or another. I also seen the care love and concern.You never failed to make me feel so safe and loved. I LOVE YOU!! =D

never letting go.

take care everyone. :)

2007-07-07T11:54:00.000+08:00

A morning post =)
haha. first time i suppose. It has really been long since i did a morning post.
let me summarise the week. hmmm..
so many things happened this week. good and bad but everything seem to be fine on the whole i hope?HAHA. but something pleased i passed so far everything but all is super low. I feel rather horrible abt it but i cant really do anything abt it now but just work harder and score better at the end. I really hope i can do it!!The week has also been super slack for me!! I broke a very bad record which is not even attending a single lecture this week. HAHA. i think it is time to stop skipping and going for all. HAHA.

take care everyone
maybe shall post later. ((:

my gurdian angel =D

2007-06-30T23:19:00.000+08:00

It been long since i made a post!!
finally one is coming.

holidays are finally over, school reopen. many things happened and good or bad it is sometimes questioned. I had fun during the hols even though most of the time i was busy doing proj but something sweet and happy happened. =)

results are coming out one after another. From what i can see i arent doing tat well actually rather far from good. Hope tat everything will be fine and there would be lots of improvement! I would really hope to do well to get to somewhere good. focus sam!! i can do it!!

anyway i guess i have been rather busy and not really hanging around with my friends. NVM i am back!! HAHA. i will be back and will try to be there everytime.

okie take care everyone
nights

misses =))

2007-06-16T21:45:00.000+08:00

BEEN LAZY AND STILL IS.
HAHA

dun really feel like blogging already. HAHA too lazy!!

TOO MANY THINGS HAPPEN!! HAHA. i shall talk abt it again as for now i guess i will end this post here.

nights everyone. =D

2007-06-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

The week is rather alright only. I know tat people says tat i am having fun. i wont deny tat i am but just tat it has been an up and down week for me. I feel rather bad in some things and tat i feel tat what that has been having last year will happen again.

I HOPE IT WILL NOT =X

I am really afraid tat what i am thinking might just happen. I dunno i feel sorry towards my group too. Okie i noe i shld not say abt it again but then i am really feeling a lil guilty. sorry guys =)

the coming week will be super busy as my tests will all be coming up! wish me luck i guess.

good luck everyone ((:
nights

2007-05-26T22:18:00.000+08:00

Well this week i had fun. exams are coming and everything. I finally see changes in life tat i might just very well run from. I dunno. But this week was fun not tat i can really remember clearly what we did but i noe it was a good one. I noe tat days like tat i will surely remember for my life. There are days in my life tat when i look back i will surely smile at it. I dunno what to say or anything but i noe life has not been tat bad. smiles i guess.

maybe a few hiccups may cause me to feel sad here and there but i guess i will overcome it. Let time see everything in a clearer view.

MOVIES MOVIES MOVIES =D

is it that difficult??

2007-05-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

THE WEEK.
have been busy and fun i should say. I dunno how i should say and explain. Everyday in school is filled with laugher and joy. but there is surely days that i dun really always seem to be enjoying. I dunno sometimes i feel weird maybe. I dunno how to say but i must agree i am trying to accept what is laid before me. Just hoping tat it would get better each day. but i dunno how much to hope for.
anyway yesterday was ccn day in my school. Just cos of it me and a group of ppl could not sleep for two whole days. It was super tiring but FUN. Haha we had fun packing the stuff and staying over. seeing how ugly the guys looked when the sleep and laugh with one another. then we will rush to school together. lol. But i was very tired after the second day and i could like sleep straight away. HAHA.

a friend i hope to know better.

2007-05-12T22:59:00.001+08:00

The week has been erm fine i guess. I dunno why but many thoughts have been going through my mind this week. Right or wrong i still dunno but all i noe is that i hope that things will not be what i think about. School has been fine i guess. though things that i thought have been forgotten are back again and i hope for it to go away. Anyway i having fun in school with the group of people i hang out with. it is full of laughter and joy. I hope it remain this way. =/ However the workload is increasing each day, cos many of projects are out. It is rather hectic but that bad yet. still coping well only sleeping late till i am super tired the next day for lessons. Anyway i have also been going out so often. It is because maybe i feel that i am super free and then i would shop and shop but i guess it is put aside for now cos i am busy and also that i have not enough cash. I think it is time i start saving money and so that i will be richer next time to buy more stuff. HAHA.
the days pass so fast, i seriously dun hope it will end like last year. I am really praying hard. I just dun hope much but just happiness for the year and good results. thats all i just hope for. haha. I just hope that nothing goes wrong this time. i wont deny that everytime like surely something happen. =/

ps. i miss all my friends =D

take care and good night

2007-05-05T22:36:00.000+08:00

I am right now very tired i must say. I just feel like collapsing somewhere. ha. dun expect this to be a very long post.

The week has been good i suppose. i mean the first few days it was sort of like warming up within the class but as the days go by everything seem to get better as the days passed. i feel the laugher coming back but then inside me have a weird feeling. I want to laugh and smile and somehow i am feeling guilty. i dunno how to explain. anyway some of my classmates i am really having fun!! i am contented.

okie enuff of saying i am really cant think.
nights everyone.

i thought you were my fairytale.

2007-04-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

The week started out rather fine. I mean there were not much lessons as tutorials are cancelled on the first week of school. I wont say that the first few days it was easy bonding with the class as our lectures were combined with other classes and we seldom meet everyone.
Wednesday we had class lunch but still as it was such a big group it was really messy and i would say something happened as well. i wont say the things that happen are of any good. it kind of made me feel a sense of dread.
I wont deny that when there was no school on thursday, i really thought of a lot and i think i wont really say it here but i must say that the dreading of school existed.
Friday school was fine. but i kind of skipped a lecture with a few others and was damn suay cos the teacher seem to love my name during the lecture. haha. Then i went to orchard with clare,esther,nish. Upon reaching there i had a call and left to watch 200 pounds beauty with my sp friends. The movie was good. i nearly cried, i knew many ppl ard me were all crying. The movie taught me alot. then something bad happened during dinner. let the picture explain.
now ppl shld know what the sp ppl did. lols. but i wont deny having fun at swensens.haha.
today went shopping with esther. We both seem to be the shopping queens. HAHA. we really shopped till i can say we drop. lols. wah we bought like so many things lo. lol. I had fun shopping. it has been long since i shopped so madly. haha

goodbye. it was never meant to be

2007-04-21T22:36:00.000+08:00

Well the weeks have been rather a rollercoaster ride i would say. i dunno how to explain but just that everything seem to have brought back to this time a year ago where decisions had to made. I wont say that the decision now was allowed to be made by myself. A decision was made and now i have to change sort of the new way in life.

The week started out rather sian but as the days passed i would say that each day got better and i am really tired at the end. I dunno to say what i am feeling cos if it was yesterday afternoon i would still be rather pleased but yesterday night my mood was dampen by something or should i say someone. i dun really know what to say of the person. pissed or not? i shall not say. i just noe of thing it was surely not something i wanted to hear or know. I dunno it kind of left me thinking. i shall not say more.

Today was like a shopping day. BUT more towards window shopping for me due to the lack of cash. anyway i had a good time and it was surely a shopping experience i would say. I had fun and excitement.

[[i am brought down by a couple of words]]

2007-04-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

The week was fine. i mean i wont know how to describe it but it wasnt as what i really hoped it might be. nvm still i am rather fine with it. just that sometimes i really dunno what to expect as the next day approaches. i wont say that the feeling that i have is the kind whereby i am excited or stuff but more like i hoped not to go? but i guess everything soon got a lil better but still the feeling that i had still exists. i shall not say more on it.

anyway as school has been super early this week that i was damn tired everyday due to the lack of sleep. I was really tired and that i could even be a walking zombie. lol. but still the week quickly went by and next week is the start the proper day of school. o no i would be feeling more tired then. dunno i am still in my holiday mood and refuse to let it go still. it has been long since i did some serious studying and asking me to suddenly go back really make me want to scream. ahhhh.. haha. i guess as the time slowly passed everything would be fine.

the decision made the decision to follow

2007-04-07T01:25:00.000+08:00

As the day approaches, i wont deny the sense of mixed emotions. I am excited at the same time i am scared for what will be laid infront of me. I want it to be good but thinking from the schedule i see for the sort of orientation, i dun think the mixture between everyone would be good. I am pretty worried but i think that i would just have to wait and see.

The week to begin with has been good but not fantastic. i mean there were moments when i felt down as i dunno what is going on in the surroundings but happy for sudden issues. i mean i am happy for passing my basic theory that is the first step. many more to come. that i cant wait for. What more, sunday was april fools day. did recieve some msges that nearly made me act recklessly. BUT i did not =D hahaha. really pleased as the day in church wasnt as bad as i thought of. The day started out raining but everything ended well even with the lack of sleep. Yesterday was good friday. Went to church as usual and the day was rather fine. There was a cg outing and some of us FINALLY bowled. i mean it has been very long since i touched a bowling ball. happy to do so. lol. ended up i won!!! =DDD haha.. (someone lost to me by one point) lols. then i went out shopping and finally home. wont say that it wasnt a happy or sad day for me. i mean maybe something was troubling me but i guess everything would soon go off. As for today, i guess later i would be sleeping like a pig and waking up super late before heading out. haha.. but soon option of waking up late would be gone for school starting for me :/

good night everyone

2007-03-31T23:19:00.000+08:00

I would not know to say if this week would be considered a good or bad week. But to me after the news was out yesterday it was really disappointing for me. after so long of waiting i actually held higher hopes but all were shattered. i actually dunno wat more to say. maybe it might be a blessing but now we dunno till everything starts.
There was another sad news. i shall not say more. but we should be glad that she has returned to the Lord.

other than that everything seems fine i think.the rest dun seem as impt i guess. i am really not sure.

good night everyone
why doesnt everything get better in anyway. i am getting tired of the troubles and everything.

2007-03-24T23:34:00.000+08:00

phantom of the opera

a show i watched today and was pretty pleased. it was a good show and people should try to catch the show at the esplanade theatres. but it was more about the love and the deception of people. but seriously the love story touched me and i feel that the word l - o - v - e may be an easy word but difficult done. lols.

end of it. it was a nice show.
goodnight

2007-03-24T03:01:00.000+08:00

As the days past, it has become a habit to sleep early in the morning. I dunno maybe there are nights with insomia but some days i just sleep like a log and would only wake up in the early afternoon. haha.. i seriously dunno. worried as i am for the results that might most probably be out next week. like wat the lady at the counter said cross your fingers and hope hard. i am seriously doing just that hoping that it would come true. I would really be pleased if it does. =)but say truthfully i do not pin high hopes maybe due to the lack of confidence. i dunno wat will happen when it comes to light. will i cry or will be jumping ard? till that day come i will just have to pray and hope hard.

well the past week would be considered a week filled with different events with different ppl. from shopping to movies to lunches and dinners. i dunno but this would be a week that i really spent like nearly every single day out without fail. i had fun. especially catching movies. i enjoyed the movies, the company, the joy, the excitement, the laughter, the photos. haha. watching movies starting from 300 --> stomp the yard --> mr bean and not forgetting last thurs --> music and lyrics. i would never forget the time after my o's or during the june hols i would catch every single movie till i did not noe wat other movie to watch but but it surely made a hole in my wallet. more to be coming as the week ends and another comes.

good night / good morning everyone.
take care.

2007-03-17T02:37:00.000+08:00

HAPPY ((:

pleased as the day past ending with a smile on my face.

finally i feel the joy of having gathering and chitchatting and just having fun. its been long since i last felt so good. ha. but choosing to let go really make me feel lots better and happy. i am going to continue and be happy.

take care and goodnight

2007-03-10T19:06:00.000+08:00

everything has been revealed and dunno how to describe how i feel. I am not that happy but not that sad afterall it was one of my choices. The week has been filled with ups and downs and i would not deny that in some way i am lost. not understanding alot of things. but i guess i cant really tell anyone cos it is something that i would choose to hide it. No matter wat the matter might be i guess everything will be over soon and i noe the decision is for me to make. I will make the decision soon.

Hiding things seem to be a wrong thing to do and might just cause more prob but then i dunno why i dunno how to say anything out. maybe after long probing it might just help as for now i rather choose to hide it. a friend was telling me yesterday that hiding things might just old day harm my nervous system and that could be a reason for my condition but i dun really think so. everything in life happen for a reason and that as long as we are happy everything would soon go away.
a cheerful heart keeps the doctor away.

take care everyone. goodbye

2007-03-03T22:52:00.000+08:00

Actually each week i seem to be blank of wat to write in this blog. I have a feeling that very soon my blog may just rot as i am lacking of topics to talk abt. As the days get closer the tension and pressure increases and i am rather worried for wat will be placed infront of me. These days i have been relaxing at home more than going out as i keep waking up late and sleeping super early in the morning. I dunno maybe i am just trying to escape from wat i think might just happen.

Btw i was actually thinking of something and i found it quite true. As in wat if one day u suddenly decide to disappear or something happen to you who will know?? maybe only ur parents cos ur friends might just think that unable to contact u is because u are busy or u did not hear ur phone. not knowing to them that something might just have happen. i mean which friend would actually really think that u went missing for the day unless someone was to tell them. I dunno why but it suddenly pop into my head. lets say that u might be having a condition that no one other than ur parents noe then it suddenly got serious and u are hospitalised. who would actually noe unless u tell them. maybe only ur parents?? anyway maybe everyone shld just notice the happenings around them and their friends. no one knows the future and we shld treasure the present.

goodnight everyone.

thank you guardian angels

2007-02-24T14:34:00.000+08:00

Being without a computer the past few nights really allowed me to think and understand everything that once was stuck in my head. I wont be having a laptop anytime soon cos my laptop is spoilt and i wont be getting a new one soon. so everything will have to wait. school have to wait. laptop have to wait. everything around me just seem to have to wait i guess. lets just hope that everything may just go my way.

there is something that i dunno if i should blog about it or not. but i guess i shall. lols. A week or 2 ago a friend talked to me then we suddenly talked about a topic about guardian angel. haha. we were like talking that in life maybe there a few friends who seemed like a guardian angel who would be there when we need help. I dunno why but this topic stuck in my head and i have been thinking of it here and there maybe due to boredom. but i will have to admit that there is friends out there who really is my guardian angel who has been helping me thru all my troubles and who heard all my troubles. no matter how sad i am or how happy or how worried they will try their best to help me. they are really a blessing to me. these ppl noe more of my happenings then i noe of theirs and sometimes i feel rather bad. I shall not write their names down here but i seriously would want to thank them. they have been such a good friend and i have not regretted to have a friend like them. i would also want to thank god for blessing me with such friends.

THANK YOU. ((:
take care everyone.

2007-02-17T14:39:00.000+08:00

Today is Chinese new year eve and my dinner this year so so early. at 530. nvm i cant wait to bully my younger cousins. =pp maybe it is the opposite la. cos last year they sat on me not allowing me to move at all. tsk. HAHA. Lets hope this chinese new year would be good. with lots and lots of angpao!!!! haha. (may everyone get many angpao too ((: )

However this Chinese New Year my mood for it may not be as strong as it was for the past few weeks. so many things happened this week just before it and being not in the mood really sounds true. Many ppl noe wat happened as coming to the schools and stuff like that. AND AND now my laptop is spoilt all it knows how to say is "Please hold the start button for a while to restart ur computer." it cant even stay on for 5 mins at all. Then thinking that i might have the television to accompany till night, something must really go wrong. Now i using my mother's com and there is a lot things which may happen just after that which is,
- no more late nights on the com
- no more songs to put me to sleep
- no more movies
AHHHH.......

nearly everything is not going my way at all. how good if the cycle would just change. haiz. anyway HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!
take care.

2007-02-15T02:14:00.000+08:00

I just watched finish 50 first dates the movie. haha a rather old movie but then i was bored so i decided to just find any show to watch. i dunno why but i seem to learn certain things in the show although in the past i felt that the show was rather dumb. It is true irony. Sometimes in life u feel like being Drew Barrymore and forget everything the very next day but the irony steps in as you will also want to keep the happy memories in ur head. There will never be something which happen and leave you pleased. u may think this is good but then actually there is also its weakness. It is like a human being. everyone has its weakness and the only way is to overcome the weakness make it a strength.

The movie also made me think of days in my past. the days past so fast that i dun seem i am able to catch up. There is surely a point in time whereby u can just turn back time and go back so that u can feel the joy and excitement. But we all should never look back but look wat is laid infront of us. good or bad, we must do our best and achieve wat we want in life. I believe that everyone have regrets in their life and these regrets sometimes hold someone back. We must all learn to break free and move forward. As chinese new year appoaches, it would be a new year in the chinese calendar but being more english educated i usually would follow that the 1st of jan is the starting of a new year.

This new year i seriously hope miracles to happen to look back and think of wat happened last year and the past few years i somehow regret time to time. Lets wait and see. There were many wishes and dreams which i have and have yet to come true lets see how many will be. but thank you to those who have been there in my good times and bad times in my life.

goodnight and take care.

2007-02-03T21:44:00.000+08:00

As in comes to an end of wat i have been doing since last year. i have a met many new ppl recently again. some i could really talk very well too some of which i noe by name but dun really talk to them.
They are:
Francesca
James
Sinyang
Huifen
Jityang
Leon
and others which i guess i dunno their names.

talking to Fran and James are very funny sometimes. lol. cos fran we dunno why but we seem click very well and topics that we talk abt are very common and james cos of his crap and nonsense that always seem to be very funny. anyway the past two days i went back to visit them and to have lunch even it was james off i drag him back to go visit. lols. after that i thrashed him at pool with tyco skills that he seem pretty much shocked by it. lols. said alr u are playing with a tyco queen still dun believe. then we went arcade and we sort of dumb and wasted money on some game. lols. damn funny. we were like crazy to win so we kept changing money. lols.

2007-01-29T00:17:00.000+08:00

it has been a tiring day.

there have been ups and down as i go for my celebration this year. i was pretty much contented even though it was tiring day. i was rather happy meeting so many ppl on one day. i had lots of fun BUT i kept visiting starbucks. lol. i went to starbucks 4 diff times and had 3 diff types of drink but every single time it is with different ppl. i only reached home at ard 2 something in the morning and met close to an average of 12 ppl. thanks for the company on a day like this.

today was like the usual routine for me once again. but again i woke up late and went for cg late. then when i reach there they told me abt wat they had prepared and they celebrated for me and sihong. it was a good time but all good times had to come to an end quite soon. i wasnt able to go out as i had something on so i went out till ard 11 in the night. but many funny and wierd things happen today thay made laugh cos i couldnt believe it at first. haha if u are really curious then u can just ask me lazy to write it here.
thanks everyone for the wishes and the presents.

today is mel and kat's birthday.
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY MEL!! (29TH JAN)
HAPPY 18TH BITHDAY KAT!! (29TH JAN)
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY SI HONG (27TH JAN)

in advanced.
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY JEROME (30TH JAN)
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY CAMILLE (30TH JAN)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA (31ST JAN)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN (1ST FEB)

2007-01-28T02:34:00.000+08:00

just reach home not long. should say a tiring yet contented day.

shall blog more tmr i guess.

take care and good night

2007-01-27T01:15:00.000+08:00

i changed my blogskin for a reason. for those who knows wat today is thats good but those who dun or forgot it is ok.

i did not think a change of events would happen during this time and was pretty much surprise by it. i guess that would mean a not as happy day as it would turn out to be as things would not be the same again. I can see from how i see the people who remembered today. :)

i dun really want to say wat day it is but do take care everyone. everything been fine. today might just be an ordinary day afterall . i kind of predicted it before it happened. but thank you to those who rmbed. ((: i still have a whole day to go and lets hope its good.

take care
good night everyone

2007-01-23T23:49:00.000+08:00

// editted
The difficulty in life as the days go along

the troubles of understanding yourself
the troubles of having trouble after trouble
the troubles of deciding ur future
the troubles of conveying a message that no one will understand
the troubles of knowing wat the future holds
the troubles of not neglecting those around u
the troubles of holding back a tear
the troubles of cherishing every second of life
the troubles of knowing those who are important in ur life eg. family friends
the troubles of being happy

HA. it has been a while blogging and it dun seem to be a happy post. =p
will try to post soon.

goodnight everyone.

my tagboard will be closed for now if anyone want to comment u can leave me a comment.

2007-01-04T16:53:00.000+08:00

Even though it is a new year but still i am doing wat i did last year at the beginning of the year. I really dun like wat i am doing again but still i guess i have to in order wat i hope for in the coming future. so i have to just hope that everything would go smoothly unlike last year.

I MISS SCHOOL SO SO MUCH.
actually it is more towards I MISS THE JOY WITH ALL MY FRIENDS.
The joy and excitement.
The crazy and insane times.
The time when they talk me out of emoness.
The listener.
The time when we studied together ended up eating
The time when the laughter filled the school.
The difficult time whereby we went thru it together.
The teasing.
The time we stood for one another
The bonding built over time
The fight followed by the sayin on friday we shall reunite
The classmate
The friend
The drawings
The SAMANTHIA
The stoners
The stoners table
For a stoneful person on a stoneful day at a stoneful time for stoning. lols.
The J.A.M.E.S
The Pia kia
Scared wat?!?! smile smile!!
cheese pie
fish you many many

2007-01-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

A new year

A New beginning

A new point in life

A new surrounding.

A new set of thinkings.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.
hello 2007! goodbye 2006

take care everyone, have a good day

2006-12-30T22:11:00.000+08:00

As the year comes to an end.

there is many things which happened this year. good or bad all happened for a reason.
summarise wat happened in a year 2006

going in a new school and made new friends which i will never regret making. adapting well till everything has to end. Bad year for a new school. But with the support of friends i managed to get over this bad scenario. thanks.

knowing new friends by chance.

pleasant and sweet dreams turning into dust

manage to scape thru speech and drama to do dip next year.

catching up with old friends

starting to work and making friends. even thou work ended friends still remain as friends. keep in touch ya..

having fun.

understanding that life has its ups and down and not everything has to go the way you want it to.
learn to step out and let go of stuff that u should hold on to.

take care.

2006-12-27T22:47:00.000+08:00

I <3 RAINY DAYS. ((:

as you watch the rain fall everyday especially in the night. As u watch the rain fall pass the lamp it is really a beautiful sight. The sound when the rain falls is truely lovely as well. it is really so hard to describe why the rain is beautiful. I noe that many ppl just dun like rainy days as it spoils the mood of the person to go out. I sometimes fill that but since it has been raining for so many days, i am becoming to love rainy days. happy or sad when u walk and see the rain it seems to put u in a place u never tot before. u will the cold winds blowing and feel very quiet.

deep thoughts has been going through my head the past few days. But i guess i noe wat to do and the answer to it. The silent hour i have each day and whenever i see the rain helps alot. i noe the year is going to end. There has been so many things that happened this year. Happy and sad. still passable. even thou there have been rather low points in life for school work and stuff but still i guess i managed to get over it.

A new year coming with new targets and new view in life i guess i will soon find out what the new year has from me. maybe i shall blog again for the new year.

nights everyone.

2006-12-27T01:37:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BELATED CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!!!

christmas was fine. Thank you to those who gave me a present and those who wished me.

Yesterday was considered the last day of work for me for that month. I am very tired from work and everything else. but maybe a good sleep might help. I dun really care anymore for anything else. certain ppl should noe. more towards my close friends. I damn sian this christmas but nvm la should be ok soon.

cannot really think now. shall blog tmr instead. maybe i guess.

2006-12-24T00:20:00.000+08:00

i have decided not to close the blog but not many things will be written here still. work is coming to end soon as the days count. Thank you to everyone who have visited me and even those who bought something. even thou my target is so far from reaching i am rather happy working there.

lols. i made new friends with ppl of the main counter. ppl like
KEVIN
KE LI
JIA QUAN
AMANDA.
dunno wat happened but Kevin became my bigger brother even thou he was younger than me. haha...
indeed a good bigger brother who takes care of me.tsk tsk. really gentleman to all of us. haha. really happy knowing each and everyone there. it is just so hard to forget them.
All of us are all planning to go out together again next week to celebrate christmas together.

ok i know christmas is coming but seriously. this might be the worst christmas for me. Although i met new friends, i have gifts and i noe most of my friends are spending christmas with me, the joy is no longer there alr. there is something very wrong. but nvm christmas will be good i pray damn hard but i cant expect much. Everyone ard me says that this year would be the best christmas but no matter wat i am thinking otherwise. very hard to say it here. but i will try my best to be in the best of mood. ((:

2006-12-17T02:02:00.000+08:00

should it be a THE END??
maybe this blog might just be dead for a while. till i decided

2006-12-14T11:12:00.000+08:00

haha i wrote this post for my good friend GIULIA TAN JIA YUN who is in AUSTRALIA now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAL!!!! ((:
take care. god bless.

cant wait for u to be back on the 16th.

2006-12-13T23:42:00.000+08:00

There is something very wrong that i have been thinking the past few days. i dunno how to put it but i guess there is. It is a time that i think i need to come to a strong decision and to do wat has to be done. the rest i shall not write here anymore. i am planning to close this blog or change a blog. will see.

made to blog today cos i need to do some editting. but actually not really keen on doing so. nvm topic shall change.

today was rather slack at work. haha. i seem to be typing the same thing everyday. my job seems very slack like everyday. but seriously i cannot stand someone at work due to the attitute. but i shall not say at all. it is just too bad to say it. HAHA. today i was not having dinner alone. lols. since daniel was working afternoon shift same as me we ate together, we his friend as well, benjamin. Then after dinner sales boast so well to some extent that ppl bought 16 boxes at one go. my my that was like so far the best deal. then me and eunice were crazy, we packed all the goods and arranged so well and neatly. haha. it was really good.

then today after work me eunice and samuel walked to the station together. as i was walking down, i saw thet they were building some stuff that were to do with ur christmas celebration. seriously i hope that this christmas would be good but still i think otherwise. lets hope that i do not drop a tear on christmas. Even how bad christmas might be i guess i will have to go thru it. smile and continue with life. ((:

2006-12-12T01:38:00.000+08:00

why is it so difficult to prove someone wrong??
nvm i dun really wanted to post abt this

anyway today was rather slack. only that kena caught by the supervisor for slacking too much thats all.
me wendy bernie samuel and fabian talk lots of rubbish. whether a person is sad or not u will feel happy after that.
today my break!!! good good good.
i feel tired after working so much. but actually not much work have been done but more play have been done.
anyway catching with friends is good too. ((:

i miss all my friends. in primary secondary mi church and many many more. miss meeting with them and miss the fun and joy.

2006-12-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

haha another day over. and me and my friends working all suddenly want to quit. wat a thing to think of. But i might just might consider it. maybe next week i will think abt it again.

today i was doing the afternoon shift. HAHA as i was talking abt my laodie in my earlier post. LOL. I was awaken this morning by EDGAR my laodie. he was supposely to go and visit me while working but ended up cos i was in the afternoon shift, i ended up meeting him for lunch. Someone was feeling rich so he treated me lunch. cos we arrived at orchard late so i ended up for work.=p hehe. but still at least a free lunch. But at the end he never go to the shop to buy something. BUT BUT he said tmr. haha. he better come if not, i have my ways lols.

BUT THANK YOU LAODIE FOR MY LUNCH. GOOD GOOD. I GET TO SAVE SOME CASH. HAHA.

Anyway slacking at the shop is super good but maybe i shall just think of something else soon. tmr maybe have to wake up early. should go to bed soon.

Christmas, how sweet can you be?? if only i noe. the mood of christmas has grown in my heart as the day approaches and as i see the lightings everyday. if only i can feel the sweetness soon. but as i said i dun predict it to be a good and sweet one.

2006-12-08T20:26:00.000+08:00

//EDITTED
Work has been rather slack and as usual i made more friends, ppl also came and visit me.
the day today went really quickly and before i knew it, it was the end of the day. it was really fun. especially with our neighbours shop. cos we kept talking and disturbing one another.

I got to know SAMUEL AND WENDY. haha.. then me and the rest were sort of disturbing samuel when wendy left. LOL. i made him help me wrap some gifts which i bought from the store. He together with fabian just finished their a's so they are workin. lols. we keep disturbing the two guys. today was so fun. i enjoyed the day. so me eunice and bernie was resting more. O ya my supervisior is biased. i finally realised why my supervisior whenever she says bye she will only look at Fabian. lols. cos she tot that Fabian was the cute cute cute boy. We all cant stop laughing because of that. it is really very biased. I WANT TO COMPLAIN!!!! LOL.

I also want to thank EUNICE for coming to visit me. haha... My laodie visiting me soon i guess. he said it but he will take surely very long before he comes la. haha. nvm at least he better come.

ps. i saw this 1.2m pooh bear. my gosh it was super cute and big. I LOVE IT SO DEARLY. but then i need to auction in order to get it and i was just wondering how much a person might just pay for it. haha.. my it is really super super big.

2006-12-06T11:44:00.000+08:00

//EDITTED

Maybe it wasnt that bad after all.
today was a free day for me and i am like blogging at manda's house cos i stayed over. then we would be going out later.

it wasnt so bad cos i made a few friends.
EUNICE
BERNIE
FABIAN
so we were like talking all the way instead of doing wat we were suppose to be doing.

but then i would like to thank those ppl who popped by to visit. haha.
especially MANDY for buying something. ((:
MARTIN
LIL ISSAC sorry forgot to add. ps he is very very cute.
AMANDA(planning)
CINDY
JACK
NICOLE
MUMMY( bought someting) whee...
AUNTIE JANET(bought something) hehe..
and i noe the many to come. HAHA.
BUT
THANK YOU!! U ALL MADE MY DAY. ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THE SHOCK AND SURPRISES. ((:
many misses to all my friends. :)

ps but this may not be a sweet christmas afterall. but nvm thats life to go with.

2006-12-03T21:17:00.000+08:00

torture approaching.
even before tmr starts i can see it =/
how good a thinking before i disappears.

2006-12-01T03:46:00.000+08:00

I am again watching movie now at such a time of 3:46am. It has been such an habit to sleep so late yet early in the morning. ha. Today maybe the last time i will be doing this cos next week will be a hectic week for me and i would be required to wake up earlier so i shouldnt be sleeping so late. Lets hope next week would not be as bad as i think it would be.

I been really lazy to update and the timings i have been updating seem to have become a weekly basis. Maybe it might just get worse the next few weeks. but there is like nothing i really want to update abt. what i want to say have been said thru wat i wrote the past few weeks. There is a meaning within the stuff which i wrote. it may not be very hard for ppl to understand. but if u dun it is ok cos it isnt anything really important.

its coming. YAY!!!
today is the 1st of dec. 24 more days to Christmas. ((:
sweet sweet sweet christmas may it be.
cant wait for it.

2006-11-25T04:00:00.000+08:00

it is already 4am.time and time again,as you stay up late and watch a movie in a way the movie seems to bring abt ur life but sometimes u just find that certain things said bring out life of others too. I decided to watch High School Musical again. As i watch the show i stumbled upon a song which i kind of loved it for a reason or another.

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all i want is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe miracles could happen?
'cause now i have to pretend that I don't really care
I thought you were my fairy tale
A dream when i'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star that's coming true
But everybody else could tell
That i confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you
I swore i knew the melody that i heard you singing
And when you smiled you made me feeel like i could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
now my heart is empty
I'm left with used-to-bes and once upon a song
Now i know you're not a fairy tale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star just dont come true
'cause now even i can tell
That i confused my feelings with the truth
'caused i liked the view when there was me and you
i can't believe that i could be so blind
it's like you were floating while i was falling
And i didnt mind
Because i liked the view, ohh,ooh,ooh,ooh
I thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

2006-11-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

As the day ends and another comes. You will begin and think how exactly was the day. Good or bad u still leave it as a ((:
but still u find it hard to really say cos u also noe they cant help much. silent seems to be the best option. But as you hide u must learn to step out and let go. thats something i learnt today. Let go seems an option in my dictionary that i run away from. But today i will learn to let go and step out and leave it to the flow and the favour of god. ((:

As i was packing my room yesterday, i stumpled upon something that i wrote in China. i was thinking about it there. it was sort just a words written together for fun. i guess? it makes sense so i decided to write it out. haha.
it goes like this

should i wait or should i go?
waiting was never a torture to start with.but..
thats if you know wat u waiting for.
it has to be told if not
waiting becomes a torture.
nothing comes so easily.
should i wait or should i go.

life has been.. shall not update abt it still.
p.s one more month to Christmas
may this christmas be a sweet one ((:

2006-11-19T02:07:00.000+08:00

It is so long since i really enjoyed the moments in the night or should i say the early morning.
now time : 2 : 07am

I loved staying up. why? i dunno
maybe cos there is no one who might know u are awake and thinking alone as u slowly let things go.
happiness and sadness are always hidden till late in the night.
as u cry or smile no one will really noticed. especially when u are sad.
thinking of moments u treasure and moments that u really wish to escape. the night is here.
the night is quiet and alone in a room u will be able to cry it out as no one will hear. as if a secret.
as u close ur eyes when u open those eyes again it is a new day.
happy or sad u will still try to show a strongfront so that no one knows.
how ironic?
shouldnt troubles be let out so that u can feel better? heee..maybe not.
but still everything happens for a reason.
i dunno why but i just feel too lazy to update on life. not that it has been bad although there was its down points.
but there is really no point.

back from china

2006-11-13T19:43:00.000+08:00

back from china
but i am too lazy to blog.
just too lazy maybe after a few days i will blog again.

lols but i think i better write this
sorry abel. lols.lols.
sorry to make u worry. hehe. I will tell u next time when i go overseas.
even when i am working. lols.

I am early i noe but still
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY JORIM. [14th NOV]

goodbye singapore. hello china

2006-11-02T21:00:00.000+08:00

I guess my blog would be dead for a while as i would be flying to China soon. I dunno if it would be exciting but the plan seems good. I would be back by next sunday the 12th nov. I cant wait to fly off and cant wait to be back. Wat an irony.
I would surely miss everyone here. HEE...

Well the past few days my schedule has been out and out and OUT. I never seem to be home. I had fun going out and play. I seem to be more relaxed and less worried. but i still have a sense of panic as i think abt stuff when i was doing nothing. I guess maybe cos i have been doing everything in a way that i escape so i wasnt feeling that bad.

Maybe the days in China would be a time i can relax and forget everything. But still maybe i would still think of Singapore.

Anyway I have been doing lots of things currently and sleeping late in the night ard 3 or 4 am. It has been very long since i have done that. Sleeping late and waking up late. It is rather a good habit that i LOVE it. I would watch DVDs and would sleep super late. I would think of stuff and teared if anything was to happen as no one was ard and I was alone. I felt peaceful and alone as i think of stuff that had happen or would happen. As i thought of each and everything that happened and stuff that i was thinking too much of i would cry as i dunno wat to do. I had questions but no answers. I just think and think until i slept. But i am feeling much better.

take care everyone
see ya when i am back.
miss ya.

2006-10-30T12:48:00.000+08:00

Many people i noe have been seen doing this blog quizzes. I decided to do as well as i was super bored before i went out. =/
I decided to see if my blood type really matches and it did.
I never expected it to be the same. But a spit personality?? o.O
I am rather an angel than devil. =p

Your Inner Blood Type is AB!

Your personality is hard to define - you're very unconventional.
And even if your personality could be defined, it would be completely different next week!
Outgoing and shy, sensitive and thoughtless, you tend to have a very split personality.
This makes you unpredictable. You can be a total angel - and a total devil.

You are most compatible with: everyone!

Famous Type AB's: Jackie Chan and Marilyn Monroe

What's Your Inner Blood Type?

2006-10-29T20:19:00.000+08:00

I have been escaping the idea of school for the past few days. When the word school came to my mind. i tried my very best to escape far from it. Thanks to rather hectic schedule i was able to run far from it. But now that everything is over i begin to think hard able it. How i hope i may noe an answer and hope that everything would improve. I noe that not many ppl noe wat had happened and i wish not to say it out for my reasons. But still i am better in a way. Just praying and hoping hard that things would be like a mountain and start climbing up again.
ANYWAY
these past few days i had been busy as me and my friends are helping my speech and drama teacher for halloween night. Finally yesterday it was all over. But it was fun with the makeup and fake blood. The feedback was good too and i heard that our room was the best and scariest among all the rooms. It was fun as the kids screamed and got so scared about it, it means that we were very successful. However, it ended rather late and everyone was so tired. Then mel and abby came over to stay over at my house. We were suppose to watch movie but ended up sleeping. haha..

BTW I HAVE DECIDED TO CHANGE MY WORLD INTO A PHOTOBLOG.
cos it is very difficult to put photos in here.

2006-10-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

// PART 1

Because of the down turn these past two years, I have lost my rights for a decision. Since the choice of going to the school was mind and it was wrong, My uncle aunt and mum would be making the decision for me now. I cant choose not to accept it. I mean i kind of agree staying in the school was wrong but there is one thing i will never regret. that would be the friends i made with. I will never forget them. They were always there went i was sad and always made my life filled with joy. They have always been there. MANDY CYNTHIA EDGAR(laodie) JACK(godpa) NICOLE(mei) EUNICE MICHAEL TIANSHUI LINA DICKSON JAMES JESSILYN CINDY and MANY MANY MORE. They have always hear my problems and had helped me to cheer me up. They are always there. i will never lose contact with any of them. no matter whatever the future lies for me or them we will all be friends and would always meet up.
I MISS YOU ALL!
I LOVE YOU ALL!! THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. ((:

My sec school friends were also always there. even thou our school have changed and everything. Some of them may even be overseas but still we still meet up or would talk and chat up. They knew the times when i was sad and would never fail to ask if i was fine. They made life in school that time and now fun. GIULIA BRIDEGT AMANDA EUNICE ABBY STEPHANIE MELANIE ADELINE and many more. even if we dun meet up they would text me or sent me an email to find out if i was alright and cheer me on supporting me that everything is fine.
THANKS YOU. I MISS YOU. ((:
LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

2006-10-25T23:42:00.000+08:00

// PART 2

My church friends also never failed to be there with me. They would sometimes shock me with the sms or msges online. Like when i never go for cellgrp my friend would tell me to go and call and talk in the night just to find out how was life. They knew the times when i needed someone to talk to someone. Their call and msg shocked me. They sometimes would give me wise advices and listened to be complain of my problems. I am seriously thankful. JORIM ABEL SARAH XINYI JUDITH SIHONG MELISSA and many more.
THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. ((:

I have many more to thank. they were there for me and they always helped me through my difficult times by talking and asking what happened. They helped me alot and i am pleased to have them as a friend. I am seriously happy to have met them.
JEROME NICHOLASLIN AND MANY MORE.
THANK YOU EVERYONE. ((:

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR BEING THERE WHEN I NEEDED SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
YOU GUYS ROX

(PS. a new haircut a new beginning.)

2006-10-25T22:46:00.000+08:00

a few days back. something hit me. i was hit realloy hard by it. I could not stand as the tears rolled down my cheeks and all i felt was to be alone. ALL ALONE. things never seem to be that bad at first but it turned out to be horrible. I was talking to my friend when i realise that my life has been of a downturn ever since the end of sec 4. I dunno why but it all just seem to happen and it hasnt been better and in actual fact it has been worse. This was wat giuliaTAN said and i dun seem to be able to hide it as it was the truth.
[c=3] giulia[s]tan[/s]wong[/c] says:
what happened sam?
[c=3] giulia[s]tan[/s]wong[/c] says:
how did things turn out like this
[c=3] giulia[s]tan[/s]wong[/c] says:
from what i see, things went downhill from sec 4

I cant deny it. It was horrible that everything seems to have gone down ever since. I seriously hope it would get better and not worse.

2006-10-20T22:03:00.000+08:00

IHATEMYLIFENOW.

it is just terrible. I cried today from the time i know the outcome all the way till my school ended.
I just cant faced wat i have infront of me. I was like on the verge of a breakdown .
thru my life I have never made such a big mistake and this was like the worse among all.
I am disappointed without a doubt and sad. I feel like a dumb person making a choice like this.
I feel like doing lots of things which i noe is wrong. WAT AM I TO DO???
I feel so horrible. if only GOD will show me the way.
I am broken into a million pieces but i dun seem to be able to escape of wat i am to face.
I want to escape run far away and run into a place i can hide from everyone and just be forgotten.
Everyone who did well or close to it all the best i am just not me for a while. I am pretty depressed.
pretty much given up too tired just for everything,
I dun want to burden anyone and have not really said my true feelings.

ok i am breaking down. maybe. i may still survive.
lines are cut so deep into the skin that u feel no pain after all the pain u faced.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
[taken from cyn's blog] ((:
" Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Our deepest fear, Marianne Williamson

2006-10-19T23:04:00.000+08:00

i did not expect things to go so bad. I knew that there was always a chance but now i have lost it.
HOW GOOD samantha. U DID THE BEST JOB IN UR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.
I can stand there crying but still wat can it help??? I meant everything was all so wrong. everything just everything.
I knew that i cant do anything to change that fact. I will have to face reality.
i cant blame anyone i can only blame myself. I felt hopeless. how i wish i knew a way.
Everything is of a reason wat am i to say.
I think tmr as i noe if i am promoted or not it will surely hit me badly.
I will just have to hold it and try hard not to show it.
but how much can i hold it?? I will surely breakdown and everything will surely not go my way.
I pray hard that god will help me thru this time and bless me.

I shall close my eyes and keep silent for whatever i face tmr i will have to face it on my own. No one can help me or keep me not feeling the sadness as the tears slowly rolled down my cheeks.

2006-10-14T00:46:00.000+08:00

//EDITTED

i made a decision. maybe a rather bad one.
tat is not to wait.
i would not want to make this decision lets hope that i find the truth before everything changes.
those who understand good. those who dun it is nth impt.
i dunno why i feel rather downcast but i am just too tired abt everything. from this to that and that to this.
i seriously hope and pray that nothing will change as the days go by for now.

the worse state is as good as being dead. the lines that cut deeply into ur skin.

the worse state

2006-10-12T22:54:00.000+08:00

the worse state.
everything bad
everything u wish to escape
everything u wish no made no decision abt it
everything that makes u think of ways to escape
everything u hope someone would hear but it will never happen
everything that could just turn at the wrong turn with no u-turn
everything so wrong that u are at a cross road
everything that no one hears.
everything that no one can help
everything that let tears running
everything that is taken for granted
everything that u wish to let someone know but u cant
everything that can turn into a different story if u face it that way.
everything u hope u noe the answer for
everything.
everything.
just too wrong to go wrong.

FORGET IT

2006-10-10T13:58:00.001+08:00

//EDITTED

The past two days had been fine. thou i have been thinking alot. I have made a decision which i dun think i can keep it. I have been wanting to do it but i usually would give up at the end of the day. But the decision is made and tears would roll down my cheeks but i have to do it. I think the pain will remain even if i am force to at the end of the day. lets just say everything happen for a reason and it is a matter of whether it go your way or not. Thinking about it sure made me sad but no one would know wat it is about. I think the person too. but thats ok. sam u can do it.

anyway i would be flying to china for my holidays. for 9 days if i am not wrong. dunno to look forward or not cos it is really not a country i am keen on going to. But it is ok i guess it would be fun and not only that i can choose to ...
Lets just say i will dumb everything here and just go there.
results would most probably be out soon. I am afraid and scared for wat am i to see. But still i would have to face it alone. I still hope that it would not be as bad as i think it is.

before i end. let me say.
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY SIMONE!!
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY WANLING (9th OCT)

ps. i going to play pool later. yay.
pool was FUN. I met edgar dickson jessilyn xiuru wanling allex and james there. I started playing and it was fun. Lady luck was there and i managed to win allex and james athough i lost to edgar. NVM it was my warm up game. HAHA. so edgar beware next time. BUT BUT. I WON EDGAR WHEN WE PLAYED 9 BALL. my lady luck was shinning so brightly that edgar watch till he felt like vomit blood. HAHA. I still had lots of fun. Then we had pepper lunch before i headed home. haha.
tmr school starts lets hope that it would be good.

ps. meeting Bridget tmr. cant wait.

emoness

2006-10-08T19:34:00.000+08:00

This is my 100th post. woohoo!!!

I know that this shld be a happy post but i am affected by certain things which have left me emo. I cannot be emo but i dun really have much of a choice. i cant think of wat to do or wat to say. shld i do it??? I will choose not to be emo but dunno maybe sadness looms.

today was a alright day. I went to church as usual i was 5 to 10 mins late. then after service we went parkway for lunch. We ate thai beef noodles. yum yum. It was long since i ate it and it is my second time eating it. after that, me ,judith ,sarah ,jorim and sihong went to play pool at katong shopping centre while melissa and xinyi went off first. pool had always been full of joy and excitement. i surely did have fun. we played close to 3 hours before we left.

i had fun and stuff but i dunno why i seem to be sad for something. disappointed in a way. lets just leave it as that. o ya i think i going to be broke soon. so many ppl's birthday are coming up and i have to start savin up to pay the presents. o wells.

lets hope tmr is better.

results bowling talking

2006-10-06T12:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was not really say the best day yet i had fun at the end of the day. I was rather moody when i told that my speech and drama results were out. I had not done as well as how i did in the past and was worried that i may not even pass for my exam. I was in tears when i heard that i passed but yet again i knew that i would not do that well. I did not talk to anyone about it as i was too worried how i did. I kept silent. I only took my results at 6 but as i predicted i did not do well. I was not really happy with my results actually pretty much disappointed.

Then i went for dinner with steph and abby while mel went home as she still had paper tmr. We talked and eat and after that we went bowling. The idea of bowling was actually mine. But it was really long since I last played. WHO KNEW?? I broke my highest mark yesterday and was rather happy abt it. I managed to get 152 and 129. It was a surprise to me. I tot i would only get 100. Then after that i went home as steph and abby still had exam next week. My mum was also not really pleased with my results too.

Anyway later i will be going out with mandy and celebrating moon cake festival witth her cg.

but before i end, let me say this
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY ABIGAIL!!!

EXAM OVER!!

2006-10-04T17:15:00.000+08:00

My promos have finally ended and i sucessfully survived it all. BUT I have a bad feeling about it all.
I dunno wat to do if really i was to get retained. I am confused not knowing wat to expect about everything. I should be feeling relieved and stuff but thats surely not happening to me. My afternoon nap was no where good. I guess being too worried affected the beautiful sleep i always had.
MAYBE being in a quiet place alone may help. Who knows i may just go for a walk somewhere to clear my mind.

Like my previous post.
Things will truly never be the same again.
i once had a friend but i seem to lost it and will never find it back.
I once told myself to study hard but i never got the motivation and gave up till the last point.
i once had a close bond with my mum but it has all been shattered.

Those were choices i made in the past or was forced to make.

But i guess i will be out the next few days celebrating that exams were over when all along i think it seems like a holiday to me. =/

things will never be the same again

2006-10-02T18:21:00.000+08:00

Things will never be the same again even thou i hope very hard that it would.

1) friendships - lost and gain but lost in a way that everything will never be like before
2) work - never improving just losing it
3) family - bonds which may just be left badly.

everything is filled a sense of regret. nth can change it. time will never return back only have to face it.
life is filled with challenges that not everyone can face. regrets may be wat everyone may fill.
pray that god will help and give me another chance that i will be able to go thru it with no worries.

before i end.
1st of october was not only children's day but someone's birthday.
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY MICHAEL
HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY TOO.

if only wishes and dreams...

2006-09-30T17:52:00.000+08:00

"If only wishes and dreams came true" how good would that be.
why is it always difficult to make it happen??

"believe and you will do it"
but is this saying true??

How do you really aim for wat u want??

well exams have been bad. very bad. :(
results are surely nt something that i am looking forward to. I am expecting the worse.
if i dun do well.
i wont be able to stay in the school if nt retain. wat am i really going to do. is this really wat i want?? but seems like time cant go back. now i can only pray and wish for the best.
maybe changing school might help me??? I DUNNO.

before everything end. let me say this.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNICE!!! ((:

2006-09-21T22:30:00.000+08:00

i been trying not to cry. letting out a scream or shout. i have been resisting it since yesterday night.

memories have been falling back into my mind. even though i had my happy points in life, there would be a sense of sadness at the back of my mind. It is just that whatever i see or go have a link to my memories. I cant escape neither can i try to hide from everything. But memories are not always good. even though i had sweet memories but i prefer to keep it in a box. I dunno wat is there i can do to stop everything. maybe a brainwash? a bring back time machine? i wish to not think but i cant. promos approaching and everything seems to be in a rush. maybe if i can stop time for a moment for a rest.

anyway promos are here, if not ppl are all busy mugging for their exams. everyone is stressed by the word exam. all are crazy mugging if not going mad cos of it. TIME IS LIMITED. everything needs to be in a rush. everything seems nt going as plan. i will surely have to mug like mad cos i am behind alot of subjects. maybe wont be seen online or maybe will. i dunno

believe and achieve it. dun believe and you have lost half a battle alr.

btw on the 18th of sept was my "daddy's" birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDGAR!!!

2006-09-17T19:25:00.000+08:00

Well the past few days had been rather good. i was rather of a good mood. hyper maybe.
AND yesterday i finally started to do serious studying. I noe that my time is short and in order to pass i have to work really hard. so finally yesterday i decided to go to the library to study with amandaLEONG.
I was there early and i started studying first before amanda finally came. I was there studying from 3 to 845pm. there was time i took a break but still i did much work and i am happy with myself. I feel good after so long for doing work. Then i went home supposely to study but ended up slacking. I really cant study at home and i dunno why. LOLs.

As usual today i woke up late. I set alarm but yet i overslept as i snooze too many times that the alarm auto off. LOLs. I was late for church so ended up not going. but i met with judith and jorim for lunch. We went to parkway and ate pasta as usual. Then we went to play pool. Omg i seriously slack alot today when exams are coming. But i had a good time playing. Then i went to tampines to look for a book but i seriously cannot find it at all. i searched most places but i just cant find the book. I think i have to search more places too. Headed home and slacked since then till now. better start mugging soon i think. Omg i mug so much yesterday and slack today. this is really bad.

GOD I LOVE YOU.
(want to noe the reason)

[x]click here.

p.s there is something amusing too in there.

2006-09-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

exam over. exam over :/

i dun really noe to feel relieve or sad. my exams ended at 325 something in the afternoon. I dunno but everything seem bad. I was so nervous that i said my pieces wrongly. I even forgot a line and he had to prompt me. that sounds bad. i am no where near to feeling proud of myself. I pretty much disappointed but still everything is over now. now promos are coming. well will it be as bad? maybe but lets hope not. my examier today can really talk alot he was nice but how i did seem so bad. :/

mug mug mug mug

2006-09-14T00:06:00.000+08:00

well i am having my exam tmr and boy am i scared. Ok my practice today went alright thou i did not remembered my pieces that well. i seriously worried wat may just happen tmr. will i do badly or will everything be fine?
i am afraid to screw up and afraid tat i may just forget my pieces. wat if it happens?? wat am i to do or say?

i seriously hope tat everything will be just fine and nth may go wrong. praying hard.

lets hope tat the examier is nice enough not toask me too much theory questions. I will be studying damn hard for it later. i noe now is alr late but i am still blogging cos i reached home just only.

Forbidden city : potrait of an empress

2006-09-09T21:47:00.000+08:00

FORBIDDEN CITY : POTRAIT OF AN EMPRESS

The show was good. I love it especially the song. the song really got stuck in my head.

MY ONLY CHANCE
Nobody knows me
Nothing before the day that i came
Like others who've lived and prayed for the same
They dont know my family name
Nobody knows

Nobody sees me
blessed me with luck, the rules of their art
i've been all they hope each day from the start
But no one has seen the dreams in my heart
Nobody knows
Nobody knows

this is a certain part of the song i heard and i fell in love with it.
p.s i noe i said i will not blog for awhile. this shall be my last blog entry.

goodbye

2006-09-05T01:52:00.000+08:00

goodbye to my friend.

im tired

whatever

everything

i dun care alr.

busy busy day

2006-09-03T22:22:00.000+08:00

today was sunday but i did not go church today at all.

I overslept so ended up meeting amandaLEONG to shop for clothes she can wear to her teacher's wedding today. LOLs. I noe it sounds super rush and it is!! We walked ard pp and managed to find some clothes that she can wear there. Then i followed her home then to meet her friends at bedok interchange. They waited there till everyone came before they left.

I met abby at 1 something. Steph and mel were suppose to be there ended up they were late. We went to eat pasta. As usual it was my idea. LOLs. Then we went to the arcade it has been long since i went and play there. It was surely fun catching up with old times. Then we went to buy a book for ms gracey as a teacher's day gift before we headed for class. i did my pieces first before as i needed to go off. OMG the costume i will be wearing is something i will never wear and no one will surely see me wear it. LOL. It is simply too... i dunno the word to use.

After that, i walked back to pp and met with amanda and her classmates. They were playing pool but when i reached they were abt to go off. They all decided to watch movie at tampines. We all went down tampines but some left halfway. when we reached tampines, we realised that the shows were all too late so we could not watch. We went to eat aijsen. Then we walked ard at tampines mall before heading home.

it was surely a tiring day as so many things happened. I am so tired but i had fun.

dun force urself to change when u dun want urself to.

2006-09-02T22:47:00.000+08:00

Well today was a good day. i went to watch movie and played pool.

I went out with jorimTAN to orchard. We went to watch the devil wears prada. but the movie we were watching was at 645 so we had to find something to do to spend our 4 hrs. there was seriously nth to do in town. It was seriously boring. We walked and talked from one end to the other end. We walked the whole of wisma and was playing ard at art friend. lols. we were just bored.
then we decided to play pool so we walked back to cine and played pool for 2 hours. however the table we were playing on was really horrible. the balls seriously did not want to fall into the holes. then finally we went for the movie. It was a good movie. there was also a reason behind the show.

the reason : dun force urself to change due to atmosphere but because u want to.
changes that u dun want to make u lose everything that once belongs to u and that u will soon realising that u are just trying to fit in. i really tot that it was kind of true. accept urself and noe that everything that happened has a reason for it.

haha someone said i was heartless and insensitive. i guess the person is more like that lo. still can say me. how evil. lols. anyway the person said i was heartless cos the person is sick today. i am not that heartless can. better take care and sleep more until like a pig ba. LOLs.

insensitive

2006-09-01T22:48:00.000+08:00

LOLs.
today was a good day thou tiring.
training was tiring and surely took up most of my energy for the day. I was damn tired at the end. After training i went to eat dinner with the rest. We went to jurong point to eat. as usual i ate beef noodles. but during training i have heard of my happening tag board. It was surely happening man. I saw it when i reached home. But before heading home, i went to edgar's house with dickson. it was only at ard 9 i reach home. I was on the com since then till now.

then someone talked to me of insensitiveness. LOLs. wat a topic.
insensitive : showing or feeling no concern for others' feelings
: not aware of or able to respond to something
haha i dun think i am a person like that. maybe the person on the phone is one. lols. try denying it lo. i am not one at all i am ab sensitive person. so u are wrong. WRONG!! haha. We were arguing but damn funny the way we were saying it. we both dun seem to want to give in. we felt that each other was right and the other was wrong.
arguing on rubbish = perfect day. ok la i shall admit it made my day. THANK YOU. lols.

2006-08-30T23:34:00.000+08:00

Today was a good day. Had fun. Had lots of sleep too. I noe that today was the e learning and i was suppose to be studying. I ended up sleeping as usual. LOLS. I slept like for 3 hours was simply too tired. I was tired of even thinking so i slept from 11 something till 2 something. Then i went to get ready to go out. I had a feeling that many ppl will be late so i left my house a lil later. at that point, nicole msg and told me that she was also going to be late. Then when i reach the train station, i missed my train. I was msging nicole when i finally realised that i forgot to bring money. How suay when i was heading back i missed another train. I quickly went back then msg mandy that i was going to be damn late. she called me a kukuradoo. LOL. Then again i missed my train. OMG. how unlucky i was today?? then when i reached there i realised that i was not the latest. There was still cyn, jack, ts and nicole who were later. mandy and michael was alr there waiting for all of us. The birthday boy wanted to eat carls jr. LOL. It was damn funny. we had lots of fun. Then we went walk ard and as usual the guys all couldnt catch up, they didnt even realised that we had left the store. We played arcade, it was damn long since i played. Had fun even thou i just spent 2 dollars. Then we went far east and i met amanda there, she was with her friends. Then i was talking to her then we played a hide and seek with certain ppl. I found them. LOL. By that time, cyn and nicole have left alr. left only me, mandy, michael, jack and ts. Then martin came and join us. LOL. we continued walking before we headed to play pool. Lol. I had so much fun playing and jumping and being hyper. Miss that. i had lots and lots of fun. I left only at 10 something and reached home late. let me end by saying

HAPPY
18th BIRTHDAY TANJACKLONG <30th august>
17th BIRTHDAY TIAN SHUI <25th august>
ps. thank you to those who helped carrying my bag.

2006-08-29T22:06:00.000+08:00

these past few days had been alright. thou rather tiring, i still tried my best to finish as much work as possible. did i do work so that i would not get distracted from wat i was thinking or just that i was just wanted to finish my work?? This have been pondering in my head the past few days i just dunno why?? I just dun understand myself and dun expect anyone to. But maybe this was a way i tried to escape. But i think i kind of sorting things out alr and thats a good sign i suppose.

I becoming to click into class again but then i think i have still been thinking alot and would not want ppl to worry. I have covered bthe emo side even that there is no one would see it except me. Cos no one is able to see wat i am thinking. Even thou there are a few ppl who are able to read be by a book. LOLs. But there have been laughter in class i can feel myself being hyper alr but there are still certain points when i felt super sian. I just try my best not to be sian just be me. LOL. still i hope that everything would be alright just soon so that i will not think so much. lets hope that it is soon.

2006-08-26T22:09:00.000+08:00

well today was alright la. ALRIGHT. i mean my mind has been thinking of stuff the whole day since the time i woke up till now. I cant make it stop stop stop. I just have to let it continue but pretend that there was no such thoughts. I tried rather hard thou but it seems there still. I feel really tired having the thoughts but it just worries me. I dun understand why too.

Today had lesson with my cousin. was fun. we were slackin the whole time. we were drawing on the white board too. we would add more and more as drew an object. It was fun thou my mind were flashing thoughts. I barely did any work then lesson finally ended. I went to orchard and met bridgetSHOO. it was damn long since i last saw her. We started walking ard orchard but were spending more time sitting down and talking then walking ard. We caught up alot. However, we simply dunno where to go. We even did funny things like following a balloon. maybe it might lead us to a place. thats wat we think. then we walked talked ate. then we passed the heritage centre. we went in to see where we could visit in singapore as if we were tourists. Then we promised that we would go certain places together.

1) watch forbidden city : portrait of an empress.
2) go to the zoo.(lols)

we walked awhile more and talked lots before we headed home. it was a good time meeting up again. we both also agreed that we seem to have lost an identity. LOLs. our mindset seems to be the same.

2006-08-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

school have been rather good. Alright i guess. I seriously dunno. Not that i am just thinking too much. more abt my studies. I think i will never catch up and just get retained. I want to study and do well but when i open the book i just dun seem to noe how to continue. I am just lost in the books. Ok i do not noe how to study and how to really do my work. so maybe i shld stop studying and quit school. as in seriously give up. I been thinking of doing that. i just dunno la. I am too sian of work to think. Teachers have been talking to me abt work. OK i am useless when it comes to work and i will never catch up thats wat i think.

I think that i am a horrible friend too. useless la. Just too boring. I dun seem to be able to entertain ppl. I have lost my identity since the hols ended. who am i??? I dunno. i just noe that my name is samantha a human. who was i during the hols and who was i before that?? I dunno . i seem to have forgotten. I want to find myself but i cant. yeaterday a friend was talking to me. she found out of me in suspension and words my teacher said. her reaction was big. WAT HAPPENED?? she dun seem to noe me and i dunno myself too. I dun seem to be like this before. wat has really happened?? i really questioned myself. i dunno. i seem to be in trouble too much. shld i have friends in the first place. maybe i am too hopeless to be anyone friend. I shld give up. lol. maybe i would make my friends bored. I dunno la. i have been thinking of it lately. maybe a failure i am as a friend. anyway i thank god for friends but am i that worth it for them.

i am fine. but just that a few thoughts i have been thinking abt this week. maybe work comes first now. I dunno i feel like stopping watever that is happening. maybe it may just help. I dunno wat to say now abt works. but i will still be happy =))).

2006-08-23T21:20:00.000+08:00

I wanted to blog yesterday but didnt have much of a chance to cos my connection sucks lo. LOL. keep getting sign out. anyway yesterday went to marina square with jorimTAN. lol. we were suppose to be studying but wat did in the end?? we played. We went from marina to suntec to nearly everywhere. My legs were aching at the end of the day. But i had fun. I mean really fun.Although at the end no work was done. i had fun playing with the toys cos we all seem like small kids. however, i came shocked from seeing a yellow wall. omg my mother painted one side of the living room wall yellow. it was so bright that i jump when i reach home.. LOL.

anyway today, it was alright. I mean i did not expected so many things to happen. I just was really not in the mood when my teacher came up to me to talk to me. I was alr not feeling that in the mood then she comes up to me. She started talking to me in a serious tone. she talks that she thinks that i seem to be in my own world and she was speaking to me cos all my lit teachers said the same thing. I am in a world of my own. they say i seem to have not been able to answer questions when they ask. she said that she think that i would not be able to pass promos. then she tell me that i am the weakest student in class but it is not cos i cannot do. she warns me that my next assignment must not be slipshot work. I really tried actually but since this year started watever i study it doesnt seem to go in. it just disappear. lol. i dunno why. so when i read a poem alr, i forget it the next moment. i guess i really have to give up studying alr. I think wat my teacher said is the truth cos i dun really think i will passs promos. Ok my confidence level went down after my teacher said that but wat am i to do. i dun really have the study feeling. i just feel like slacking.

2006-08-22T14:05:00.000+08:00

The day was hard and not easy. I guess i managed to survive thru especially for half the day alr. Ok i am not really in the mood. I guess inflicting pain and suffering may not always help too. a question have been poppin in my head.

" WHAT IF YOU KNEW U WOULD DIE TMR WAT WOULD U DO? "

ok i have the answer in my head. I was holding back something and i guess its time to let go. nth truly matters now for a moment. I may break down but it is all life process. I do not wish to question anymore. wat that have been happening could be a thinking a lil over the limits. and now i have to forget all the thoughts i once head and also forget it. I know that not many people know the thoughts that were in my head but i do not wish to say it. The only thing is i hope to forget it fast. will it be easy or hard that all depends. ha. will blog more later in the day when i reach home. lets see how long i can last.

2006-08-20T20:45:00.000+08:00

Time for me to really think everything properly. The days of emo have to come to an end. not many know the reason but then the reason was not really impt. sorry and thanks to those who had heard my grumbling or whatever i said. I hope it never irritate anyone. if it did? sorry. My emotions have lost its control. I shall not say the reason here at all cos it is no longer impt. I have made a decision whether right or wrong i do not know. but just that i hope it is. Someone just helped me to confirmed my decision. anyway can i be myself or just a cover i dunno. I will try to me myself but i think it will be a cover more than the real me. It shldnt be that diff to be happy and i think i shld be able to obtain it. maybe clear my thoughts would be the best help. I will do that real soon. I dunno but i thought that why didnt i withdrew. maybe not tat many problems to have happened. I had fun making friends thou. They will be part of me.

Well today was considered a happy day.(to me it didnt felt like a cover.) As usual i was late for church. I dunno why but i seem to be drifting away from church. maybe it is time to become more close to them again. Maybe cos i need more friends. God will always be part of my life even thou i seem to be getting further away. I used to have a close relationship with god but now i dun really seem to have that kind of close relationship. Why?? anyway after church talked to abelLEE for a while then talked to sarahONG. Then me, sarahONG, jorimTAN and xinYI went to tampines together. Laughter was there as we walked there. They went to eat at long john while i went to meet amandaLEONG. we went to shop at converse. bought shoes. :) then we went pasta to eat and chat. even thou we can meet very often in a week we never seem to have lack of topics to talk abt. Then wanted to go her house but then it was a lil rush so decided not to. Went home and went to sleep. I slept like for hours. I woke up like at 7. The sleep was not the prefect sleep cos i keep waking up here and there. it was nice but not the perfect one.

tired

2006-08-16T22:28:00.000+08:00

I dunno why but i have been very tired these days. I have been stoning so much. thinking alot too. The thoughts kept staying in my head. I trying to forget but it seems stuck there. my mind is just full of it. Lettin go may take a while but i guess i may just do so. I think it is pretty tiring thinking abt it but still... maybe everything have got the better of me.
However i will add that thou the lots of fun things going on even thou there was sadness too. But just that i dunno why the happiness never seem to be shown. Sorry for not really being hyper or happy but still i am fine. Not emo just thinkin a little too much. But still i would like to thank those who have asked. I shld be fine.
I still had fun last week but just that maybe this few days i shld be fine after a few days. will be posting some photos soon. be prepared and ready to see. there will sure be laughter in some of it.

2006-08-14T20:33:00.000+08:00

well having been updatin. did not feel like too at first. but shall write a short one.
thinking abt stuff and still dunno la. but am fine. not emo just more stone these days. dunno why but just stone.
maybe sometimes emo but then i will be fine. nth troubles me. ya!!

been watching movies. Like cleared all the nice movies alr. so no shows to watch. seriously a movie addict or a better term would be movie buffs. I have so far watched 6 movies within 8 days. thats so cool and fun. anyway hope days would get better. slept only three hours yeaterday. shall head the bed for awhile now.

the past few days.

2006-07-23T12:15:00.000+08:00

I feel lazy to update but i shall still. I noe this few days have been rather emo and horrible. I like to thank those who were there cheering me up and made me laugh. But till i am worried till everything is over and everyone knows my results. Will just have to see wat may happen. Thanks again.

Well the weekend started rather good. on Friday, I went for training. It has been so long since i played badminton. It was fun with all the different games. I miss my secondary school days but still i do enjoy my days in mi. I shall have to see wat will happen down the three years in mi. Btw i will be joining the cheers gals double competition lets hope it turns out well. I am just worried it may clash with my speech and drama exams. Lets cross our fingers and hope not. We also had a surprise birthday party for one of the members in badminton. He cut the cake and we were eating cake before we continued playing. i went for dinner with coach, ronald and wanling. The food were good. then i went to meet jerome at pp. We walked for a while at pp before we left as most of the shops were close alr. Then we headed home. I was quite tired and i went online for a while before i went to sleep.

yesterday, i had lesson. Then i met JACK at town to collect his ipod. I was there early even thou the bus broke down halfway. LOL. I am always the one waiting as usual. HAHA. We went and then collected the ipod before we decied to watch pirates of caribbean. The show was good but the funny thing was the drink we ordered. Jack said order large and the drink turned out super big. EXTREMELY BIG. HAHA. The movie had its shocking and funny parts. It was a good movie. then i went to dinner with my grandma, uncle, auntie and mum. I was silent the whole time as i was too afraid to say anything. I was so afraid as my results was no where good.

results

2006-07-20T22:04:00.000+08:00

Upon recieving my econs results, this questions pondered in my mind.

AM I DUMB?
AM I STUPID?
OR AM I HOPELESS??

to say the truth after seeing all my results i feel rather hopeless. and i noe that many thinks that i am hopeless including my mum and maybe my relatives. I feel rather depressed with my results even with paper i studied lots on yet i fail terribly.

WAT IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH ME. I THINK I AM JUST THAT HOPELESS AND STUPID. I HAVE GIVEN UP IN A WAY. THATS BAD BUT STILL THATS WAT I THINK.

I AM IN TROUBLE SOON WITH MY MUM AND UNCLE AND AUNTIE. LETS JUST SAY IT WILL NOT TURN OUT GOOD IN ANY WAY.
WHATEVER LA.

a very emo day

2006-07-17T17:02:00.000+08:00

The past few days had its fun and joy but sadness took over it. I am not really happy with the word home and have been facing problems with it too. I have been venting anger and have been rather sad. I vented anger on sunday at jorimTAN and today at jackLONG. There are other ppl who i vented anger at too. I am seriously not really the best of my mood. I just dun seem to be able to hold my temper and stuff.

SORRY to those i had vented anger at. I hope that u were not very offended by it. I just lose control and was really pissed off. Maybe i should disappear for a few days to calm myself down cos things havent seem to be going the way i wanted it to.

I am also feeling better even thou the problem with my mum still persists, I would like to thank those who were there and cheered me up. Without u all i may feel that life is meaningless at a certain point. I am really hopin that the problem would be settled soon. Onve again THANK YOU!! dun worry i shld be fine once everything is clear if not i will still be happy to everyone. I try.

THANK YOU AND SORRY.

I HATE U STILL.

I REALLY WANT TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST

2006-07-15T22:53:00.000+08:00

I AM SORRY TO THE READERS BUT I HAVE TO SAY THIS. PLS PRETEND THAT NOTHIN IS WRITTEN HERE. I WOULD BE FINE.

I AM REALLY SCARED AND AFRAID. I DUN UNDERSTAND WHY MY MUM MUST TORTURE ME THIS WAY. I DON'T DESERVE THIS TREATMENT!! I TOT AFTER EXAMS I CAN MAYBE CHANGE FOR THE BETTER BUT AFTER WAT U DID OR TOLD PPL I SERIOUSLY DUNNO WAT ELSE I CAN SAY.I WANTED TO CHANGE BUT WAT U DONE MADE ME REALLY MADE BECOME WORSE. CHECKING UP ON ME WILL NEVER WORK OR HELP. FORWARDING EMAILS TO ANY OF UR SISTERS OR BROTHERS WILL MAKE IT WORSE TOO. I SERIOUSLY CANNOT TAKE IT ALR. I WISH TO DIE ON THE SPOT PLS. I AM STRESS OUT NOW TEARS KEEP FALLING. SINCE U THINK IT IS CONCERN LETS JUST SAY IT IS BUT OVERBOARD OF CONCERN. I REALLY WISH U WOULD JUST LET ME DO IT ON MY OWN BUT SEEMS LIKE I CANT. NVM I SHALL LEAVE IT AS THAT LOR WHICH MAYBE ONE DAY MAY DRIVE ME MAD. OK IT WILL ONE DAY.

OK I HAD ENOUGH OF SAYING ALR I DO NOT WANT TO GO INTO THE DETAILS OF ANYTHING OR STUFF CLOSE TO THAT. TEARS ARE STILL FALLING AS I WRITE THIS. I DO NOT WISH TO SAY THIS BUT U FORCE ME INTO SAYING THIS AND THIS.

I HATE U!!!

exams results and a horrible starting

2006-07-14T20:57:00.000+08:00

Well the first day of school since exams ended did not start well at all. Yet another teacher wanted to talk to me after my lesson. It was again about the same problem. I just dun understand why everyone understands but just not my mum. This is not good as I really never liked such things. It surely left be feeling horrible. I did not want to think of it. Well i have to admit that this year i have drifted far from my mum. Lets say it would be difficult if i have to try to get back. Maybe never. My teachers wishes to see my mum to solve the problem but will it ever work?? I am having second thoughts that it may just become worse and then worse and before i knew it i may never speak to my mum at all. Well see...

But there was those ard me who cheered me up. Thank you without all of u i would have not felt so much better. I had a good time after school with mandyLEK and jackLONG. We went clementi to eat then we walked ard the area. We also heard about the something funny. Which we could not stop laughing ever since we alighted from the bus. i had fun. jackLONG went back to school thinking there was training while i headed home but i recieved a msg from him soon after saying that there was no training. LOL. he travelled all the way back to school for no reason. HAHA. I also forgot they placed a bet on me but i shall say more of it here. MAY THE RIGHT PERSON WINS. lol. I would also thank those who were msging me they were also cheering me up. Thank you so much. Have fun!!

part 2

2006-07-14T20:53:00.000+08:00

On wed night, jackLONG was msging me not to pang seh him the next day in school as i was planning to sign out. Then all the best friends words came out. LOL. Then ended up me and mandy pang seh him and cyn in school the next day. LOL. i was msging him and found out that we got back our gp paper. I failed it. That did not keep me happy but nervous. I did damn badly. I had a subpass but SO WAT!!! Thats like so bad. I truly hated that result. Seriously i tot if i would want to pass at least something it would be gp but i was wrong so wrong. I met amandaLEONG for dinner on thurs. We caught up with some things and i had fun time. I was about to leave pp for class when jackLONG asked me to buy a pacifier!!! LOL. Haha .. it was a gift to cynthiaCHU. Then i went for speech. My exams are like in 8 lessons time and I am in trouble not being ready for it. How am I going to do well at all??? I seriously thinking that this would not be a good year. Everything dun seem to be going well. I just wish to cry. MAY I BORROW SOMEONE'S SHOULDER??? I am so afraid of being out of the school lets hope not.

Today, i went back school. I had pe. OMG i think the teachers are nuts wat i had lots of laughter a good time for sure. I left school once school ended. ME and cynthiaCHU and jackLONG went to bb to eat. Then we left soon after I went home and knock out at 4 till 7. Sorry i never go out really did not feel like it and my mum was on leave again without telling. There a communication breakdown. WHATEVER LA. Lets hope tmr will be good and fun. my head is hurting but i dunno why. I just dunno why. anyway i shall end here. take care everyone. LOL. THANK YOU AGAIN TO THOSE WHO WERE THERE.

AN EVENTFUL DAY

2006-07-11T20:55:00.000+08:00

WAT A DAY!!!
I HAD SO MANY EVENTS IN A DAY. OMG. I WAS LIKE RUNNING ARD FROM ORCHARD TO HOME TO PP TO HOME. LOL. EVERYONE SEEM TO BE FREE TODAY AND WOULD WANT TO MEET. LOL.

well this morning i was awaken early cos of phone calls made by a certain someone(u shld noe who u are). I was awake and all ready to meet JACK. However, JACK as usual overslept and had just woken up when we were suppose to meet. He fell back to sleep after his parents woke him up. WAT A BUM!! Then when we were suppose to meet at 2 he was late too cos he fell back to sleep AGAIN!!! REALLY WAT A BUM!! so we met only at 245 close to 3. Then we went to do his ipod. Wah finally after so long he finally fixed it. HOW LONG WAS THAT??? ard 2 mths ago. LOL. After that i finally had my lunch. it was like at 4pm when i finally eat. Wah the food was nice. We walked there for an hour before we headed to my house. I came home to charge my phone and we were waiting for EDGAR and DICKSON to come. LOL.

Then at 610 EDGAR finally arrive but DICKSON was not here yet. Then i was late meeting JEROME. so no choice i had to pang seh them and go meet him for dinner. He was there alr I was rather late. We walked around parkway before we went to the hawker centre to eat. Then i got a surprise msg from EDGAR that they all were behind me. They ate very fast. That i was shocked that they eat finish alr even before i did. As JEROME had lesson he left at 730 then i went to meet the rest. We walked ard pp for a while before we left.

They came to my house and started eating hazgen daz ice cream. OMG. They finished the whole tub la. See them eat was like they never ate it before. They played ard and left ard 840 cos DICKSON had to be home by 9. HAHA.. AN EVENT AFTER ANOTHER. Finally I can rest. LOL. I LOVE THE DAY!!

2006-07-10T18:22:00.000+08:00

Name 11 people you can think of right now in your head.
After that tag at least 5 people to do this.

1. amandaLEONG
2. jackLONG
3.edgarANG
4.jeromeCHAN
5.judithLIM
6.michaelTANG
7. euniceLIM
8.mandyLEK
9.cynthiaCHU
10.nicholasLIN
11.abigailHAN

1. How did you meet 10?
> nicholasLIN
he added wrongly on friendster. LOL

2.What would you do if you never met 2
> jackLONG
life will have lesser laughter? LOL

3.What would you do if 9 and 11 dated?
> cynthiaCHU and abigailHAN
not possible!! LOL

4.Do you like 7?
>euniceLIM
SURE!! she is a good friend!

5.would 5 and 6 make a good couple?
> judithLIM and michaelTANG
not sure? they dun even noe each other. LOL

6.Describe 3.
> edgarANG
funny?serious?retard? =p

7.Do you think 8 is attractive?
> mandyLEK
haha yes? lol

8.Tell me something about 2.
> jackLONG
talks rubbish. funnie?

9.Do you know any of 4's family?
> jeromeCHAN
nope?

10.Whats 5's favourite things?
> judithLIM
purple? riding?dancing?

11.What would you do if 3 confesses he/she likes you?
> edgarANG
haha... dunno?(never tot of it)

12.What language does 6 speak?
>michaelTANG
english!! no tamil. LOL

13.Who is 9 going out with?
>cynthiaCHU
whoar?

14. How old is 8 now?
> mandyLEK
18 on the 15 aug

15.When was the last time you talked to 1?
> amandaLEONG
today? haha (must meet up soon. maybe midnight movie again?)

16.What is 2's favourite band/singer?
>jackLONG
michael jackson

17.Would you ever date 7?
> euniceLIM
no. I let someone date her instead. =)

18.Would you ever date 11?
>abigailHAN
no. shall someone date her. =)

People whom you want to pass this on to
>cynthiaCHU
> mandyLEK
>jackLONG
> edgarANG
>jeromeCHAN

EXAMS OVER??

2006-07-10T18:05:00.000+08:00

YAY!! Exams are finally over can really consider that it is over?? Promos are like in two months.
AM I READY??? NO!! wat am seriously to do. I guess i have to really start studying.

MISSING MY FRIENDS REALLY WANT TO MEET SOON AGAIN.

anyway today after exam went town with JACK. LOL. bought nothing but had fun. Laughter. anyway tmr i have no school should be partying. cant wait for fun but studies have to be at the back of my mind too. If not i will be in trouble with my school work.

ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE MY WEEK

2006-07-07T20:36:00.000+08:00

MISERY!

more photos (part 1)

2006-06-25T18:01:00.000+08:00

yesterday night at macs. We were also watching soccer. Funny sia. Jack was damn late there too la.

what is JACK doing??

omg they are so hardworking

is JACK sleeping or studying?? JACK i guess is sleeping. stop acting. LOL

more photos. part 2

2006-06-25T17:52:00.000+08:00

at 4am edgar finally fell asleep and JACK is on the com. everyone is no longer studying. LOL.

photo-taking time after breakfast. LOL. what is JACK doing in one of the photos??
surely it was a good time at macs. enjoyed the time studying there.
Edgar was the first to pang seh us. He left at 6 cos he was too tired. Me and Jack stayed on and started talking and talking till 7 something. Alot of catching up to do. LOL.

photos

2006-06-25T17:33:00.000+08:00

at the airport on thurs night...

wow such a beautiful scene.

candid shots while they were suppose to be studying. wat they doing ar??

at the end of the day edgar's sleeping in the train. too tired. cindy and me taking him. jack took the bus home.

warning to JACK

2006-06-23T15:53:00.000+08:00

HAHA.. me edgar jack planning to study on saturday night again.
then we were planning to meet first at kembangan to eat first before we go to the airport. We are meeting 8pm at kembangan.
then i predict that jack will be late. so we placed a bet that if jack is late he will treat me and edgar. cos jaack says he will be early and i will have to treat him. but i say no way no way he will be late like yesterday make me wait an hour.

JACK'S WARNING
DUN FORGET TO BRING EXTRA MONEY I SAY YOU WILL BE LATE!! LOL.

exciting and fun times. studying?

2006-06-23T15:02:00.000+08:00

HAHA. thurs night me and jack edgar cindy went to the airport to study overnight. it was definately fun but fruitful maybe a little i guess.but i was fooled before we even started.
JACK FOOLED ME SO EVIL CAN. I NEARLY WANTED TO KILL HIM
i saw amanda there with her friends too. We were also cam whoring in the toliet. funny sia.
Anyway me and edgar and jack were more talking then studying. We were like talking so much. But they just did not allow me to sleep. they kept whacking me with the nerds rope when i closed my eyes to sleep.haha.. but edgar always missed the chance so he kept trying to find a chance. lol.
at ard two in the morning, me edgar jack were hungry we decided to look for food. We were at terminal 1 and we were looking for macs but there was just no sign. We walked the whole of t1 just to realise that macs was at t2. But we past the viewing mall.( shall post a pic later. ) nice view. Then we were back to where we started. Then we wanted to take the sky train to t2. as usual jack thinks that it was 24 hrs and still can sit there to wait for the train. me and edgar saw the sign that it has stopped awhile ago. So we were back to where we started bk. Then edgar and me were fine abt walking back but jack was reluntant cos he thinks it is too far. LAZY! so they decided to play scissors paper stone to decide. Then edgar won so we had to walk back. It took us a total of an hour to walk there eat and walk back. wow. but at t2, it took us a while to find the place. we landed at first at the office area. It was silent a like spooky. then edgar and jack were thinking of the crazyiest things. like if something was to pop out of nowhere. they were evil la they plan to throw me there and run.
WAT GOOD FRIENDS SIA.
We went back and studied. but not fun. were playing too. thats fun. anyway i think i laugh so much yesterday that my face was extremely red like tomato. haha all my friends kept asking why. haha i shall post pics up later. we stayed till 6 something then we left. edgar was sleeping once we boarded the train and cindy and me have pics of u. lol. be careful i may put it up.

updates

2006-06-23T14:40:00.000+08:00

HAHA what happen to posting everyday. well i guess i have decided to stop. The week has finally coming to an end.

sleeping studying shopping thats wat i seem to be doing. wed i was out with eunice. just shopped and walked actually thats wat i always do when i go to town area. but it was fun. then i also bought a rugby ball for my friend's birthday present. Haha.. the rugby was big.

thank you eunice for carrying it for me.

o ya today is marianne's birthday.
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY MARIANNE!!!

time flies

2006-06-21T00:37:00.000+08:00

It has been a few days since i last blogged. Have been lazy. When school about to reopen i feeling super lazy. lol. This is not a good sign since exams are coming up in two weeks.

I HAVENT STARTED STUDYING TOO!! OH NO!!

anyway the past few days had been good. I have been sleeping alot too. Like everyday up to 10 hours of sleep. HAHA.. It feels good sleeping so much but it has made me very lazy. I think i shld change the habit soon before school reopens.

on monday, i met lina and we went to watch silent hill. Not a bad movie but scary it is. I have to admit that half the time my head was under my jacket as i was just too scared to see. But overall the show was good. Then me and lina walked ard orchard. Orchard had been my second home ever since the holidays started. I have walked there close to twenty times already but i never seemed bored. Maybe each time i am there i am with different ppl. The company of each of them was joyful and i gotta miss each day. then me and lina walked past a neoprint shop. Then we decided to take. we had fun playing ard and taking the photos before we left. That night i had tennis and was running ard like mad.

here i want to wish two ppl their birthday was on the 20062006 wow such a nice date.( o ya not forgetting june too whose birthday was on the 19062006.)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNE!!
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO ABEL & QIAN LI!!
wishing u all the most beautiful years to come. :)

the day that never ends well

2006-06-17T22:27:00.000+08:00

Well i slept last night at 5. Haha wat a time i noe. It was like the timing i should wake up when school reopens. I woke up at 1 something but i still wanted to sleep. It was just that my part time was coming so i had to open the door for her as my mum was out. I was still damn tired. It was no fun at all waking up feeling all tired and stuff.

Then my friend called and ask to play badminton. But at first all the courts were booked but we still managed to find a court to play at 630. Then i only had my lunch at 2. By the time i finished i was so tired that i went to sleep. I was damn lazy to wake up to play. However still managed to pull myself up. Then i went to play at jalan besar cc. By the time i actually finished playing it was alr 730. I was feeling damn hot and sweaty. horrible feeling la. Then i had dinner before i headed home.

When i was home, my mun was complaining that she dunno where her hp was and she thinks that my uncle had taken it when he came to collect the vcr. Then my mum kept asking me to call but the phone ws just not in our house. My uncle then came back to my house to help to check. But we just could not find it. Then my uncle like me thinks that my mum threw the phone down the chute but she just insisted that it was not. We went to the chute to try calling and it was really in there.
IT WAS DOWN THE RUBBISH CHUTE!!! LOL.
Then my mum went down to see if there was any cleaners ard to help to pick the phone but there was no one available. so my mum would have to wait till tmr morning before she can try to get it back. But still she was pissed off losing her phone and was also in a way venting her anger on me. that made me pissed off too that i started fighting with her. Then i think my uncle told her abt me watching dvd until late in the night. That she started complaining and naggin and i was like not happy. no where happy at all to hear naggin at the end of the day