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I feel lazy to update but i shall still. I noe this few days have been rather emo and horrible. I like to thank those who were there cheering me up and made me laugh. But till i am worried till everything is over and everyone knows my results. Will just have to see wat may happen. Thanks again.

Well the weekend started rather good. on Friday, I went for training. It has been so long since i played badminton. It was fun with all the different games. I miss my secondary school days but still i do enjoy my days in mi. I shall have to see wat will happen down the three years in mi. Btw i will be joining the cheers gals double competition lets hope it turns out well. I am just worried it may clash with my speech and drama exams. Lets cross our fingers and hope not. We also had a surprise birthday party for one of the members in badminton. He cut the cake and we were eating cake before we continued playing. i went for dinner with coach, ronald and wanling. The food were good. then i went to meet jerome at pp. We walked for a while at pp before we left as most of the shops were close alr. Then we headed home. I was quite tired and i went online for a while before i went to sleep.

yesterday, i had lesson. Then i met JACK at town to collect his ipod. I was there early even thou the bus broke down halfway. LOL. I am always the one waiting as usual. HAHA. We went and then collected the ipod before we decied to watch pirates of caribbean. The show was good but the funny thing was the drink we ordered. Jack said order large and the drink turned out super big. EXTREMELY BIG. HAHA. The movie had its shocking and funny parts. It was a good movie. then i went to dinner with my grandma, uncle, auntie and mum. I was silent the whole time as i was too afraid to say anything. I was so afraid as my results was no where good.

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Upon recieving my econs results, this questions pondered in my mind.

AM I DUMB?
AM I STUPID?
OR AM I HOPELESS??

to say the truth after seeing all my results i feel rather hopeless. and i noe that many thinks that i am hopeless including my mum and maybe my relatives. I feel rather depressed with my results even with paper i studied lots on yet i fail terribly.

WAT IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH ME. I THINK I AM JUST THAT HOPELESS AND STUPID. I HAVE GIVEN UP IN A WAY. THATS BAD BUT STILL THATS WAT I THINK.

I AM IN TROUBLE SOON WITH MY MUM AND UNCLE AND AUNTIE. LETS JUST SAY IT WILL NOT TURN OUT GOOD IN ANY WAY.
WHATEVER LA.

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The past few days had its fun and joy but sadness took over it. I am not really happy with the word home and have been facing problems with it too. I have been venting anger and have been rather sad. I vented anger on sunday at jorimTAN and today at jackLONG. There are other ppl who i vented anger at too. I am seriously not really the best of my mood. I just dun seem to be able to hold my temper and stuff.

SORRY to those i had vented anger at. I hope that u were not very offended by it. I just lose control and was really pissed off. Maybe i should disappear for a few days to calm myself down cos things havent seem to be going the way i wanted it to.

I am also feeling better even thou the problem with my mum still persists, I would like to thank those who were there and cheered me up. Without u all i may feel that life is meaningless at a certain point. I am really hopin that the problem would be settled soon. Onve again THANK YOU!! dun worry i shld be fine once everything is clear if not i will still be happy to everyone. I try.

THANK YOU AND SORRY.

I HATE U STILL.

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I AM SORRY TO THE READERS BUT I HAVE TO SAY THIS. PLS PRETEND THAT NOTHIN IS WRITTEN HERE. I WOULD BE FINE.

I AM REALLY SCARED AND AFRAID. I DUN UNDERSTAND WHY MY MUM MUST TORTURE ME THIS WAY. I DON'T DESERVE THIS TREATMENT!! I TOT AFTER EXAMS I CAN MAYBE CHANGE FOR THE BETTER BUT AFTER WAT U DID OR TOLD PPL I SERIOUSLY DUNNO WAT ELSE I CAN SAY.I WANTED TO CHANGE BUT WAT U DONE MADE ME REALLY MADE BECOME WORSE. CHECKING UP ON ME WILL NEVER WORK OR HELP. FORWARDING EMAILS TO ANY OF UR SISTERS OR BROTHERS WILL MAKE IT WORSE TOO. I SERIOUSLY CANNOT TAKE IT ALR. I WISH TO DIE ON THE SPOT PLS. I AM STRESS OUT NOW TEARS KEEP FALLING. SINCE U THINK IT IS CONCERN LETS JUST SAY IT IS BUT OVERBOARD OF CONCERN. I REALLY WISH U WOULD JUST LET ME DO IT ON MY OWN BUT SEEMS LIKE I CANT. NVM I SHALL LEAVE IT AS THAT LOR WHICH MAYBE ONE DAY MAY DRIVE ME MAD. OK IT WILL ONE DAY.

OK I HAD ENOUGH OF SAYING ALR I DO NOT WANT TO GO INTO THE DETAILS OF ANYTHING OR STUFF CLOSE TO THAT. TEARS ARE STILL FALLING AS I WRITE THIS. I DO NOT WISH TO SAY THIS BUT U FORCE ME INTO SAYING THIS AND THIS.

I HATE U!!!

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Well the first day of school since exams ended did not start well at all. Yet another teacher wanted to talk to me after my lesson. It was again about the same problem. I just dun understand why everyone understands but just not my mum. This is not good as I really never liked such things. It surely left be feeling horrible. I did not want to think of it. Well i have to admit that this year i have drifted far from my mum. Lets say it would be difficult if i have to try to get back. Maybe never. My teachers wishes to see my mum to solve the problem but will it ever work?? I am having second thoughts that it may just become worse and then worse and before i knew it i may never speak to my mum at all. Well see...

But there was those ard me who cheered me up. Thank you without all of u i would have not felt so much better. I had a good time after school with mandyLEK and jackLONG. We went clementi to eat then we walked ard the area. We also heard about the something funny. Which we could not stop laughing ever since we alighted from the bus. i had fun. jackLONG went back to school thinking there was training while i headed home but i recieved a msg from him soon after saying that there was no training. LOL. he travelled all the way back to school for no reason. HAHA. I also forgot they placed a bet on me but i shall say more of it here. MAY THE RIGHT PERSON WINS. lol. I would also thank those who were msging me they were also cheering me up. Thank you so much. Have fun!!

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On wed night, jackLONG was msging me not to pang seh him the next day in school as i was planning to sign out. Then all the best friends words came out. LOL. Then ended up me and mandy pang seh him and cyn in school the next day. LOL. i was msging him and found out that we got back our gp paper. I failed it. That did not keep me happy but nervous. I did damn badly. I had a subpass but SO WAT!!! Thats like so bad. I truly hated that result. Seriously i tot if i would want to pass at least something it would be gp but i was wrong so wrong. I met amandaLEONG for dinner on thurs. We caught up with some things and i had fun time. I was about to leave pp for class when jackLONG asked me to buy a pacifier!!! LOL. Haha .. it was a gift to cynthiaCHU. Then i went for speech. My exams are like in 8 lessons time and I am in trouble not being ready for it. How am I going to do well at all??? I seriously thinking that this would not be a good year. Everything dun seem to be going well. I just wish to cry. MAY I BORROW SOMEONE'S SHOULDER??? I am so afraid of being out of the school lets hope not.

Today, i went back school. I had pe. OMG i think the teachers are nuts wat i had lots of laughter a good time for sure. I left school once school ended. ME and cynthiaCHU and jackLONG went to bb to eat. Then we left soon after I went home and knock out at 4 till 7. Sorry i never go out really did not feel like it and my mum was on leave again without telling. There a communication breakdown. WHATEVER LA. Lets hope tmr will be good and fun. my head is hurting but i dunno why. I just dunno why. anyway i shall end here. take care everyone. LOL. THANK YOU AGAIN TO THOSE WHO WERE THERE.

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WAT A DAY!!!
I HAD SO MANY EVENTS IN A DAY. OMG. I WAS LIKE RUNNING ARD FROM ORCHARD TO HOME TO PP TO HOME. LOL. EVERYONE SEEM TO BE FREE TODAY AND WOULD WANT TO MEET. LOL.

well this morning i was awaken early cos of phone calls made by a certain someone(u shld noe who u are). I was awake and all ready to meet JACK. However, JACK as usual overslept and had just woken up when we were suppose to meet. He fell back to sleep after his parents woke him up. WAT A BUM!! Then when we were suppose to meet at 2 he was late too cos he fell back to sleep AGAIN!!! REALLY WAT A BUM!! so we met only at 245 close to 3. Then we went to do his ipod. Wah finally after so long he finally fixed it. HOW LONG WAS THAT??? ard 2 mths ago. LOL. After that i finally had my lunch. it was like at 4pm when i finally eat. Wah the food was nice. We walked there for an hour before we headed to my house. I came home to charge my phone and we were waiting for EDGAR and DICKSON to come. LOL.

Then at 610 EDGAR finally arrive but DICKSON was not here yet. Then i was late meeting JEROME. so no choice i had to pang seh them and go meet him for dinner. He was there alr I was rather late. We walked around parkway before we went to the hawker centre to eat. Then i got a surprise msg from EDGAR that they all were behind me. They ate very fast. That i was shocked that they eat finish alr even before i did. As JEROME had lesson he left at 730 then i went to meet the rest. We walked ard pp for a while before we left.

They came to my house and started eating hazgen daz ice cream. OMG. They finished the whole tub la. See them eat was like they never ate it before. They played ard and left ard 840 cos DICKSON had to be home by 9. HAHA.. AN EVENT AFTER ANOTHER. Finally I can rest. LOL. I LOVE THE DAY!!

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Name 11 people you can think of right now in your head.
After that tag at least 5 people to do this.

1. amandaLEONG
2. jackLONG
3.edgarANG
4.jeromeCHAN
5.judithLIM
6.michaelTANG
7. euniceLIM
8.mandyLEK
9.cynthiaCHU
10.nicholasLIN
11.abigailHAN

1. How did you meet 10?
> nicholasLIN
he added wrongly on friendster. LOL

2.What would you do if you never met 2
> jackLONG
life will have lesser laughter? LOL

3.What would you do if 9 and 11 dated?
> cynthiaCHU and abigailHAN
not possible!! LOL

4.Do you like 7?
>euniceLIM
SURE!! she is a good friend!

5.would 5 and 6 make a good couple?
> judithLIM and michaelTANG
not sure? they dun even noe each other. LOL

6.Describe 3.
> edgarANG
funny?serious?retard? =p

7.Do you think 8 is attractive?
> mandyLEK
haha yes? lol

8.Tell me something about 2.
> jackLONG
talks rubbish. funnie?

9.Do you know any of 4's family?
> jeromeCHAN
nope?

10.Whats 5's favourite things?
> judithLIM
purple? riding?dancing?

11.What would you do if 3 confesses he/she likes you?
> edgarANG
haha... dunno?(never tot of it)

12.What language does 6 speak?
>michaelTANG
english!! no tamil. LOL

13.Who is 9 going out with?
>cynthiaCHU
whoar?

14. How old is 8 now?
> mandyLEK
18 on the 15 aug

15.When was the last time you talked to 1?
> amandaLEONG
today? haha (must meet up soon. maybe midnight movie again?)

16.What is 2's favourite band/singer?
>jackLONG
michael jackson

17.Would you ever date 7?
> euniceLIM
no. I let someone date her instead. =)

18.Would you ever date 11?
>abigailHAN
no. shall someone date her. =)

People whom you want to pass this on to
>cynthiaCHU
> mandyLEK
>jackLONG
> edgarANG
>jeromeCHAN

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YAY!! Exams are finally over can really consider that it is over?? Promos are like in two months.
AM I READY??? NO!! wat am seriously to do. I guess i have to really start studying.

MISSING MY FRIENDS REALLY WANT TO MEET SOON AGAIN.

anyway today after exam went town with JACK. LOL. bought nothing but had fun. Laughter. anyway tmr i have no school should be partying. cant wait for fun but studies have to be at the back of my mind too. If not i will be in trouble with my school work.

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MISERY!

*Samantha Chan
*18 this year
*27 Jan 1989

LOVES

*GOD

*friends
*to go out
*pool
*bowling
*badminton
*tennis
*laugh
*sleeping
*the beach
*trying new and adventurous stuff
*chit chat
*to be loved
*making friends
*coffee - starbucks one
*cheese cake

((: