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Many people i noe have been seen doing this blog quizzes. I decided to do as well as i was super bored before i went out. =/
I decided to see if my blood type really matches and it did.
I never expected it to be the same. But a spit personality?? o.O
I am rather an angel than devil. =p

Your Inner Blood Type is AB!

Your personality is hard to define - you're very unconventional. And even if your personality could be defined, it would be completely different next week! Outgoing and shy, sensitive and thoughtless, you tend to have a very split personality. This makes you unpredictable. You can be a total angel - and a total devil. You are most compatible with: everyone! Famous Type AB's: Jackie Chan and Marilyn Monroe

Labels: blood type

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I have been escaping the idea of school for the past few days. When the word school came to my mind. i tried my very best to escape far from it. Thanks to rather hectic schedule i was able to run far from it. But now that everything is over i begin to think hard able it. How i hope i may noe an answer and hope that everything would improve. I noe that not many ppl noe wat had happened and i wish not to say it out for my reasons. But still i am better in a way. Just praying and hoping hard that things would be like a mountain and start climbing up again.
ANYWAY
these past few days i had been busy as me and my friends are helping my speech and drama teacher for halloween night. Finally yesterday it was all over. But it was fun with the makeup and fake blood. The feedback was good too and i heard that our room was the best and scariest among all the rooms. It was fun as the kids screamed and got so scared about it, it means that we were very successful. However, it ended rather late and everyone was so tired. Then mel and abby came over to stay over at my house. We were suppose to watch movie but ended up sleeping. haha..

BTW I HAVE DECIDED TO CHANGE MY WORLD INTO A PHOTOBLOG.
cos it is very difficult to put photos in here.

Labels: escaping far away

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// PART 1

Because of the down turn these past two years, I have lost my rights for a decision. Since the choice of going to the school was mind and it was wrong, My uncle aunt and mum would be making the decision for me now. I cant choose not to accept it. I mean i kind of agree staying in the school was wrong but there is one thing i will never regret. that would be the friends i made with. I will never forget them. They were always there went i was sad and always made my life filled with joy. They have always been there. MANDY CYNTHIA EDGAR(laodie) JACK(godpa) NICOLE(mei) EUNICE MICHAEL TIANSHUI LINA DICKSON JAMES JESSILYN CINDY and MANY MANY MORE. They have always hear my problems and had helped me to cheer me up. They are always there. i will never lose contact with any of them. no matter whatever the future lies for me or them we will all be friends and would always meet up.
I MISS YOU ALL!
I LOVE YOU ALL!! THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. ((:

My sec school friends were also always there. even thou our school have changed and everything. Some of them may even be overseas but still we still meet up or would talk and chat up. They knew the times when i was sad and would never fail to ask if i was fine. They made life in school that time and now fun. GIULIA BRIDEGT AMANDA EUNICE ABBY STEPHANIE MELANIE ADELINE and many more. even if we dun meet up they would text me or sent me an email to find out if i was alright and cheer me on supporting me that everything is fine.
THANKS YOU. I MISS YOU. ((:
LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

Labels: thank you

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// PART 2

My church friends also never failed to be there with me. They would sometimes shock me with the sms or msges online. Like when i never go for cellgrp my friend would tell me to go and call and talk in the night just to find out how was life. They knew the times when i needed someone to talk to someone. Their call and msg shocked me. They sometimes would give me wise advices and listened to be complain of my problems. I am seriously thankful. JORIM ABEL SARAH XINYI JUDITH SIHONG MELISSA and many more.
THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. ((:

I have many more to thank. they were there for me and they always helped me through my difficult times by talking and asking what happened. They helped me alot and i am pleased to have them as a friend. I am seriously happy to have met them.
JEROME NICHOLASLIN AND MANY MORE.
THANK YOU EVERYONE. ((:

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR BEING THERE WHEN I NEEDED SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
YOU GUYS ROX

(PS. a new haircut a new beginning.)

Labels: thank you

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a few days back. something hit me. i was hit realloy hard by it. I could not stand as the tears rolled down my cheeks and all i felt was to be alone. ALL ALONE. things never seem to be that bad at first but it turned out to be horrible. I was talking to my friend when i realise that my life has been of a downturn ever since the end of sec 4. I dunno why but it all just seem to happen and it hasnt been better and in actual fact it has been worse. This was wat giuliaTAN said and i dun seem to be able to hide it as it was the truth.
[c=3] giulia[s]tan[/s]wong[/c] says:
what happened sam?
[c=3] giulia[s]tan[/s]wong[/c] says:
how did things turn out like this
[c=3] giulia[s]tan[/s]wong[/c] says:
from what i see, things went downhill from sec 4

I cant deny it. It was horrible that everything seems to have gone down ever since. I seriously hope it would get better and not worse.

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IHATEMYLIFENOW.

it is just terrible. I cried today from the time i know the outcome all the way till my school ended.
I just cant faced wat i have infront of me. I was like on the verge of a breakdown .
thru my life I have never made such a big mistake and this was like the worse among all.
I am disappointed without a doubt and sad. I feel like a dumb person making a choice like this.
I feel like doing lots of things which i noe is wrong. WAT AM I TO DO???
I feel so horrible. if only GOD will show me the way.
I am broken into a million pieces but i dun seem to be able to escape of wat i am to face.
I want to escape run far away and run into a place i can hide from everyone and just be forgotten.
Everyone who did well or close to it all the best i am just not me for a while. I am pretty depressed.
pretty much given up too tired just for everything,
I dun want to burden anyone and have not really said my true feelings.

ok i am breaking down. maybe. i may still survive.
lines are cut so deep into the skin that u feel no pain after all the pain u faced.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
[taken from cyn's blog] ((:
" Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Our deepest fear, Marianne Williamson

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i did not expect things to go so bad. I knew that there was always a chance but now i have lost it.
HOW GOOD samantha. U DID THE BEST JOB IN UR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.
I can stand there crying but still wat can it help??? I meant everything was all so wrong. everything just everything.
I knew that i cant do anything to change that fact. I will have to face reality.
i cant blame anyone i can only blame myself. I felt hopeless. how i wish i knew a way.
Everything is of a reason wat am i to say.
I think tmr as i noe if i am promoted or not it will surely hit me badly.
I will just have to hold it and try hard not to show it.
but how much can i hold it?? I will surely breakdown and everything will surely not go my way.
I pray hard that god will help me thru this time and bless me.

I shall close my eyes and keep silent for whatever i face tmr i will have to face it on my own. No one can help me or keep me not feeling the sadness as the tears slowly rolled down my cheeks.

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//EDITTED

i made a decision. maybe a rather bad one.
tat is not to wait.
i would not want to make this decision lets hope that i find the truth before everything changes.
those who understand good. those who dun it is nth impt.
i dunno why i feel rather downcast but i am just too tired abt everything. from this to that and that to this.
i seriously hope and pray that nothing will change as the days go by for now.

the worse state is as good as being dead. the lines that cut deeply into ur skin.

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the worse state.
everything bad
everything u wish to escape
everything u wish no made no decision abt it
everything that makes u think of ways to escape
everything u hope someone would hear but it will never happen
everything that could just turn at the wrong turn with no u-turn
everything so wrong that u are at a cross road
everything that no one hears.
everything that no one can help
everything that let tears running
everything that is taken for granted
everything that u wish to let someone know but u cant
everything that can turn into a different story if u face it that way.
everything u hope u noe the answer for
everything.
everything.
just too wrong to go wrong.

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//EDITTED

The past two days had been fine. thou i have been thinking alot. I have made a decision which i dun think i can keep it. I have been wanting to do it but i usually would give up at the end of the day. But the decision is made and tears would roll down my cheeks but i have to do it. I think the pain will remain even if i am force to at the end of the day. lets just say everything happen for a reason and it is a matter of whether it go your way or not. Thinking about it sure made me sad but no one would know wat it is about. I think the person too. but thats ok. sam u can do it.

anyway i would be flying to china for my holidays. for 9 days if i am not wrong. dunno to look forward or not cos it is really not a country i am keen on going to. But it is ok i guess it would be fun and not only that i can choose to ...
Lets just say i will dumb everything here and just go there.
results would most probably be out soon. I am afraid and scared for wat am i to see. But still i would have to face it alone. I still hope that it would not be as bad as i think it is.

before i end. let me say.
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY SIMONE!!
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY WANLING (9th OCT)

ps. i going to play pool later. yay.
pool was FUN. I met edgar dickson jessilyn xiuru wanling allex and james there. I started playing and it was fun. Lady luck was there and i managed to win allex and james athough i lost to edgar. NVM it was my warm up game. HAHA. so edgar beware next time. BUT BUT. I WON EDGAR WHEN WE PLAYED 9 BALL. my lady luck was shinning so brightly that edgar watch till he felt like vomit blood. HAHA. I still had lots of fun. Then we had pepper lunch before i headed home. haha.
tmr school starts lets hope that it would be good.

ps. meeting Bridget tmr. cant wait.

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This is my 100th post. woohoo!!!

I know that this shld be a happy post but i am affected by certain things which have left me emo. I cannot be emo but i dun really have much of a choice. i cant think of wat to do or wat to say. shld i do it??? I will choose not to be emo but dunno maybe sadness looms.

today was a alright day. I went to church as usual i was 5 to 10 mins late. then after service we went parkway for lunch. We ate thai beef noodles. yum yum. It was long since i ate it and it is my second time eating it. after that, me ,judith ,sarah ,jorim and sihong went to play pool at katong shopping centre while melissa and xinyi went off first. pool had always been full of joy and excitement. i surely did have fun. we played close to 3 hours before we left.

i had fun and stuff but i dunno why i seem to be sad for something. disappointed in a way. lets just leave it as that. o ya i think i going to be broke soon. so many ppl's birthday are coming up and i have to start savin up to pay the presents. o wells.

lets hope tmr is better.

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Yesterday was not really say the best day yet i had fun at the end of the day. I was rather moody when i told that my speech and drama results were out. I had not done as well as how i did in the past and was worried that i may not even pass for my exam. I was in tears when i heard that i passed but yet again i knew that i would not do that well. I did not talk to anyone about it as i was too worried how i did. I kept silent. I only took my results at 6 but as i predicted i did not do well. I was not really happy with my results actually pretty much disappointed.

Then i went for dinner with steph and abby while mel went home as she still had paper tmr. We talked and eat and after that we went bowling. The idea of bowling was actually mine. But it was really long since I last played. WHO KNEW?? I broke my highest mark yesterday and was rather happy abt it. I managed to get 152 and 129. It was a surprise to me. I tot i would only get 100. Then after that i went home as steph and abby still had exam next week. My mum was also not really pleased with my results too.

Anyway later i will be going out with mandy and celebrating moon cake festival witth her cg.

but before i end, let me say this
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY ABIGAIL!!!

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My promos have finally ended and i sucessfully survived it all. BUT I have a bad feeling about it all.
I dunno wat to do if really i was to get retained. I am confused not knowing wat to expect about everything. I should be feeling relieved and stuff but thats surely not happening to me. My afternoon nap was no where good. I guess being too worried affected the beautiful sleep i always had.
MAYBE being in a quiet place alone may help. Who knows i may just go for a walk somewhere to clear my mind.

Like my previous post.
Things will truly never be the same again.
i once had a friend but i seem to lost it and will never find it back.
I once told myself to study hard but i never got the motivation and gave up till the last point.
i once had a close bond with my mum but it has all been shattered.

Those were choices i made in the past or was forced to make.

But i guess i will be out the next few days celebrating that exams were over when all along i think it seems like a holiday to me. =/

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Things will never be the same again even thou i hope very hard that it would.

1) friendships - lost and gain but lost in a way that everything will never be like before
2) work - never improving just losing it
3) family - bonds which may just be left badly.

everything is filled a sense of regret. nth can change it. time will never return back only have to face it.
life is filled with challenges that not everyone can face. regrets may be wat everyone may fill.
pray that god will help and give me another chance that i will be able to go thru it with no worries.

before i end.
1st of october was not only children's day but someone's birthday.
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY MICHAEL
HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY TOO.

*Samantha Chan
*18 this year
*27 Jan 1989

LOVES

*GOD

*friends
*to go out
*pool
*bowling
*badminton
*tennis
*laugh
*sleeping
*the beach
*trying new and adventurous stuff
*chit chat
*to be loved
*making friends
*coffee - starbucks one
*cheese cake

((: